Leaving a Legacy

“A good man leaves an inheritance [of moral stability and goodness]
to his children’s children . . ." ~ Proverbs 13:22 (Amplified)

In a recent e-mail, my father asked the following question:” Where do you get all the Bible quotes and then be able to relate them to your article?” Here is my response – in case anyone else has wondered the same thing.

“That's a good question. I guess you could say that I collect Bible verses. I have about 50 different categories/subjects saved on my computer. Then, whenever I come across a verse that fits in with a particular subject, I just add it to that category. I also subscribe to a free "Bible verse a day" service from www.heartlight.org, which they send via e-mail. Sometimes I just recall a verse from memory. I often go to a web site called blueletterbible.org, where I can simply type in a word or subject and it will bring up all the Bible verses with that word in it. Then you can click on another button and it will show you that verse in other versions of the Bible.”

While we’re on the subject, there’s something else I’d like to address. Since I frequently write about God and incorporate Bible verses into my weekly column, I imagine that some of you might be curious about our religious affiliation. Well, Keen and I aren’t actually members of any religion and we haven’t attended church for over twenty years. (We used to attend a non-denominational church faithfully, until the pastor had an affair with the piano player.) Keen was raised Baptist and I was raised Catholic, but together we are simply Christians. We love God and we strive to live a life that is pleasing to Him. We seek His will and purpose for our life and pray for His guidance in fulfilling that purpose. With our children, we raised them up “in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4) We have turned to God and prayed as a family during times of trials and we have thanked Him in times of triumph. This is the most valuable legacy we can pass on to our children, for it is one that will not only see them through their own life struggles, but more importantly, will last into eternity.

“This is all the inheritance I can give to my dear family. The religion of Christ can give them one which will make them rich indeed.”
~ Patrick Henry

To continue with that theme, I’d like to write about the importance of sharing your thoughts and feelings with those you love, while you still can. This point was driven home to me recently while watching an episode of the Jane Pauley Show. One of Jane’s guests was a middle aged woman who just found out that she was dying from a terminal disease. As a result, she decided to start a video diary for her young son where she told him how much she loved him and shared all her hopes and dreams for his life. She said, “Don’t wait until you’re dying to tell your family that you love them. Sit on the porch step with your sister – and if you have a thought, write it down.”

Several years ago my sister Connie took a seminar on the subject of “ethical wills.” I had never heard of this, but according to their web page, www.ethicalwill.com, it’s a way to share “your values, blessings, life's lessons, hopes and dreams for the future, love, and forgiveness with your family, friends, and community.” In contrast to your last will and testament, ethical wills are shared with loved ones while the writer is still alive.

Barry K. Baines, M.D., wrote an interesting book on this subject titled: Ethical Wills: Putting your values on paper. On page 100, Dr. Baines shares an example of how one father described his purpose in writing to his three grown children:

“It is my hope in writing my ethical will that I will be able to record for posterity some of my values and visions for the future. I hope this will help each of you as you plan and carry out your life. In my studies of leaving a legacy, I was reminded how important it is for parents and grandparents to share and record what is important to them. For posterity’s sake, I have attempted to record some of my experiences and what I believe in, some history of what I have done with my life, and lessons I have learned along the way.”

Isn’t that wonderful? As someone who has spent a good portion of her life grabbing a pen and paper to record the brilliant and/or witty things my husband and children have uttered over the years, I certainly agree with this concept.

Ruth Graham Bell, the wife of Billy Graham, once wrote a book titled, It’s My Turn. Mrs. Graham shared about how she always started a diary optimistically at the beginning of each year, but she never seemed to keep it up. “But I kept writing bits and pieces, things I didn’t want to forget,” she wrote. “It’s rather like snapping pictures. You can capture something for keeps that would otherwise be forgotten tomorrow.”

Here is a perfect example from my own life –a cherished letter I received from my stepmother, Barbara Brady.

February, 2003

Dear Eileen,

Having just received that wonderful Valentines letter from you and all the pictures, I am compelled to write and tell you what's on my mind.

You and Keen should be so proud of your accomplishments. You have raised 4 nice young men who have certainly made you proud of them and with love of family so intact. I read that letter and see what has been accomplished in the Umbehr family in the course of a year, you wonder how it is all possible. We know without the right people at the helm, it would not happen. Not only parents but also friends to their children who have made them feel good about themselves, wanted and loved. A house that has God in its midst for sure.

I just want you to know how proud I am of each and everyone of you. Keen is remarkable and so full of courage. Eileen you have held it all together with your determination and love. I am so proud of Jared. He has done so well and has a beautiful family and rose above his initial problems. And none of us are without them. Which only goes to prove there is a place for everyone, you just have to find it. Josh of course has been so diligent and so full of God it is no wonder that he is where he is. He also has much to look forward to with his wonderful girl, Lisa - and their future is so promising. Keener is doing great and will without a doubt make you even more proud than you are already. Pancake, [Kirk] or should I say Waffle, is going to be the best for sure. He will be just like Keen when he is fully grown. I guess I better get a new name for him.

Anyway, I am so proud of you all and your accomplishments. Eileen and Keen you have done such a wonderful job raising your family and teaching the important things in life to them. Congratulations and Much Love to all of you this Valentine’s Day and always.

Your parents must be very proud of you.

Love,

Barbara

I ask you, could there be any greater gift?

“Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers . . . I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.”

~ III John 2,4 (NKJV)


Grandma Barb with Keen and boys

The Truth Hurts

“And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
~ John 8:32 (NKJV)

But you pretend and I pretend
That everything is fine
And though we should be at an end
It's so hard admittin'
When it's quittin' time

Quittin’ Time ~ recorded by Mary Chapin-Carpenter

Last week I wrote about the pain associated with telling the truth, hearing the truth and facing the truth. Aldous Huxley once gave this modern-day variation of the above Bible verse: "You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad." This is especially relevant when it comes to the area of relationships.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: I’m not suggesting that divorce is the answer to every issue of incompatibility that arises in a marriage. The Bible says that we shouldn’t let the sun go down on our anger, so if that means staying up until 2:00 in the morning to work out our differences, then so be it.

What I’m referring to are relationships that have gone wrong for valid reasons such as physical or verbal abuse or adultery. In those cases, the marriage is already over, but one or both parties just aren’t ready to admit it yet.

When my sister was struggling with the difficult decision to end her marriage, she went through many stages along the way. At one point, she had finally made up her mind to file for divorce when her husband lost his job. Then he seemed like such a broken man that she just couldn’t bring herself to kick him when he was down – and she also hoped that the experience would change him for the better.

“I’m not backing down,” she explained, “I’m just stepping back.” She needed the assurance in her own mind that she had done everything in her power to make her marriage work. More than anything, she didn’t want to have any regrets.

My skepticism about her husband’s sincerity was reflected in this excerpt from a poem I wrote titled, “Enough is Enough.”

Now it seems you've quit listening to the truth
and started believing his lies;
You turned from the light and shut the door,
because the light was hurting your eyes.

A woman who counsels victims of abuse once told me that periods of indecision shouldn’t be looked at as a step backwards because most women who are involved in abusive relationships attempt to leave several times before they’re ready to leave for good. It’s all part of the process that they have to go through.

Here’s another poem I wrote during that difficult time.

Please Don’t Ask Me

Please don’t ask me to help you stay
because I know too much to pretend,
that everything will be okay.

Never say never, you say,
for people change all the time
But how long will that change last,
when it happens on a dime?

You’ve been down this road so many times before,
he says he’s sorry and hugs you now and then
But it isn’t long before the abuse,
starts all over again.

After the storm passes, he lets down his guard,
and returns to his mean-spirited ways
Then when you put your foot down again,
the change is like night and day.

“I love you, I need you, I can’t live without you,
I’d give you my last drop of blood,” he proclaims.
Then why does he still lie and criticize,
and why does he keep calling you names?

He’s shown his true colors, time and again,
and a tiger can’t change his stripes
What he says and what he does are two different things,
it’s all just a whole lot of hype.

Please don’t be afraid to reach out for help,
for help is all around you
You have family and friends and God above,
and with their love they will surround you.

But please don’t ask me to help you stay,
I know too much to pretend
that everything will be okay.

Written by Eileen Umbehr
October 1, 2001

One day I told my sister that it seemed as if she was watering a dead plant. Her husband had killed their relationship with his verbal and emotional cruelty, as well as with his lies and betrayal. Then she replied that there was actually a dead tomato plant in her garden that she had been watering faithfully. Hope springs eternal, and my sister didn’t want to give up on the plant or the marriage, even though all outward signs indicated that neither one of them were coming back. Despite her optimism and best efforts to revive them, restoration was not to be.

To use another example, one time lightning struck a great, old cedar tree in our front yard. We hated to lose it, so we decided to try to preserve part of it by fashioning a bench out of the wood. We used the stump for one end, and then Keen made another end – placing a bench in the middle between the two. For awhile, we really enjoyed our cedar bench. In fact, it became our favorite spot to pose for pictures. But eventually the wood rotted and we had to haul it off. Sometimes you just have to accept that something (or someone) you loved is gone and there is nothing left to salvage.

"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."
~ Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)

Yes, the truth hurts – but ignoring it doesn’t change reality or make it go away. In closing, I’d like to share the words of a song that was recorded by Blackhawk titled, “I Sure Can Smell the Rain.”

She hasn’t done a thing
That really has to mean she’s going anywhere
I haven’t seen it showing in her eyes
But I swear it must be there
I don’t know why I feel it so strong
But I feel it just the same
I can’t see a single storm cloud in the sky
But I sure can smell the rain

She’d still say I love you if I ask
But she never volunteers
Somehow what she never says
Means more than all the other words I hear
Still she should win an Oscar
If she’s lying when she says that nothing’s changed
I can’t see a single storm cloud in the sky
But I sure can smell the rain

Every day I brace myself
To hear the words I’m scared she’s gonna say
And every night I thank the Lord
Somehow I dodged a bullet one more day
Sometimes there are things a man just knows
That he really can’t explain
I can’t see a single storm cloud in the sky
But I sure can smell the rain

I can’t see a single storm cloud in the sky
But I sure can smell the rain

“Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body…”

~ Ephesians 4:25

Telling the Truth

“O Lord, who may abide in Your tent? Who may dwell on Your holy hill? He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness, and speaks truth in his heart."

~ Psalm 15:2,3 (NASB)

“Having the courage to speak your own truth always paves the way for someone else to face their own truth.” ~Oprah Winfrey

One thing I really appreciate about Joyce Meyer is that she’s not afraid to share personal stories about her own shortcomings. For example, she talks about the time she was in McDonald’s and there was only one booth left so she engaged in a foot race with a man who was crippled. “What makes matters worse,” Joyce said, “is that I was right in the middle of teaching a series on walking in love!”

In my own small corner of the world, I am also striving to be real and honest. I have no interest in pretending to be smarter than I am or better than I am. We all struggle with certain aspects of our personality that we would like to change, so I want to embrace that commonality. I can’t help or encourage anyone by purporting to be the perfect wife, the perfect mother, the perfect person or the perfect Christian. After all, there is no perfect human being on the face of this earth; we're all in this together. The only difference is that some people admit their faults and strive to do better each day, and others want to deny that they have any areas of their life that need change or improvement. But nobody grows or learns or reaches their full potential by being in denial.

Having said that, this week I’d like to share a very personal story which illustrates the point I’m trying to make.

A recent conversation/argument at the Umbehr house:

Setting: Eileen is walking on the treadmill in the basement of the Umbehr house while watching TV and listening through a set of headphones. Keen Sr. is studying in his office in the next room.

Enter Stage Left: Keen and Eileen’s two youngest sons, Keen II and Kirk Van, decide it will be funny to catch their father off guard by luring him away from his desk so they can break a clay pigeon over his head. (Don’t worry – it doesn’t hurt; the clay pigeons are as fragile as egg shells.)
Eileen hears Keen shout an expletive and runs into the room to find out what all the commotion is about. Keen Sr. recovers from the shock and joins Keen and Kirk in a round of laughter and high fives. Meanwhile, Eileen is standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips and a look of utter dismay on her face.

One hour later: Keen and Eileen engage in a heated debate over the appropriateness of shouting an expletive loud enough for the neighbors to hear. Keen counters with a complaint about Eileen’s “mothering, disapproving look” while standing in the doorway of his office. Eileen responds by emphatically stating that she most certainly did disapprove of him yelling the expletive at the top of his lungs.

Regrettably, during the process of lecturing Keen about saying the expletive, Eileen manages to repeat the expletive herself several more times throughout the heated exchange.

“But no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.”
~ James 3:8-10

Continued…..

Keen: Do I ever bring up any of your faults…..ever?

Eileen: No, but I wish you would! Because every time I want to talk about something you did, that’s your standard response.

Keen: Well, I’m just not like that. I choose to love you and give you the time and space you need to change.

Eileen: Well, Dr. Phil says you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge - so bring it on!

Fade to black .……

All I can say is….be careful what you ask for.

“If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. If you reject criticism, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding."
~ Proverbs 15:31,32 (NLT)

Here’s an excerpt from a poem I wrote for my husband titled, Ode to Keen.

He never chooses to point out my faults,
he acts as if I don’t have any;
and even though I appreciate this,
we both know that I have many.

In twenty years of marital bliss,
not one unkind word has he said;
I only wish that I could say the same,
But Lord, You know I’m the hothead.

As I reflect on the truths about myself that were revealed after I boldly invited Keen to “bring it on,” I realize that the truth really does hurt. But even though Keen obliged me by revealing some painful truths about several of my less-appealing qualities, it doesn’t mean that he was being unkind. Truthful words are not unkind words. They may feel that way to the recipient, but they are not.

“…You took me in and cared for me as though I were an angel from God or even Christ Jesus himself. Where is that joyful spirit we felt together then? In those days, I know you would gladly have taken out your own eyes and given them to me if it had been possible. Have I now become your enemy because I am telling you the truth?”
~ Galatians 4:14b-16 (NLT)

On a recent episode of Joan of Arcadia (which airs Friday nights on CBS), Joan was reluctantly instrumental in exposing a shocking truth about her friend’s mother. As it turns out, the woman was a social worker who had actually kidnapped the girl from an abusive home. Although the woman’s motives were pure, she was still sent to jail.

After the revelation, Joan’s friend became angry and resentful towards her for causing so much pain and disruption in her life. The following dialogue depicts a conversation between Joan and God, who takes the form of ordinary people in the show. This scene took place in the book store where Joan works when she walked into a storage room where God was busy replacing a light bulb.

Joan: Whoa. When did you get here?

God: I’m always here, Joan. Even when you can’t see me.

Joan: Subtle. Why don’t you let me fiddle with the light bulb and you can do your own dirty work?

God: It’s painful, what happened to your friend. It’s very difficult to see something like that.

Joan: Yeah, what did Stevie do anyway to deserve that big lightening bolt from on high?

God: I don’t punish people and I’d never ask you to harm anyone. You know that. What you witnessed was the power of the truth.

Joan: Uh – but isn’t that supposed to set you free – not kick you in the head?

God: The light of the truth can be harsh to those who’ve been in the dark. Could you flip that switch on for me?

Joan: Isn’t it your job to let there be light?

God: It’s everybody’s.

Fade to light…..

“For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, nor hidden that will not be known. Therefore whatever you have spoken in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have spoken in the ear in inner rooms will be proclaimed on the housetops.”

~Luke 12:2,3

My Brother, My Friend

“A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.”
~ Proverbs 17:17(NLT)

Remember how we laughed
Remember how we played
Remember all the lessons
We learned along the way
You were more than my brother,
You were my friend

~ Sound track from The Prince of Egypt


Joe & me

I’d like to dedicate this column to my big brother, Joe, who will be celebrating his 50th birthday on March 3rd.

Joe is the oldest boy in our family of nine, and at one time he was the only boy amongst six sisters. After our brothers Bill & Bob came along, the girl-boy ratio evened out a little more.


Joe surrounded by women (and one lone brother, Bill)

The words to the above song seem to sum it up best; Joe really was more than my brother, he was my buddy. Since I was pretty much of a tomboy when I was growing up, I always wanted to hang out with Joe – and I tried so hard to keep up with him. I remember building these great snow forts in the field across from our house. Then we’d have snowball fights with our other siblings and the kids in the neighborhood. We also played many a game of touch football in that field, and I always wanted to be on Joe’s team. In my mind’s eye, I can still see us all huddled together with Joe giving us the next play. “Okay, Eileen – you’re going to go long, cut right, and then I’ll hit you and you can go in for the touchdown.”

But my all-time favorite activity as a girl was fishing. Since we lived on a lake, many mornings I would wake up before dawn and go out by myself in the canoe. But the biggest thrill of my young life was when Joe and Fr. Hoffman (our family priest) allowed me to tag along with them on real-life fishing excursions to Yellow Lake. In fact, I just saw Fr. Hoffman last summer at my dad’s 80th birthday celebration, and he reminded me of the time I had a whopper on the line and I was screaming at the top of my lungs for Joe or Fr. Hoffman to take my pole, but neither of them would! Let me tell you, I was in seventh heaven on those fishing trips with my big brother.

Throughout our growing up years, Joe and I sat beside each other at the kitchen table and constantly got in trouble for goofing around during supper. Joe would make me laugh and then Dad would yell: “Do you want to laugh yourself up to your room, young lady?” Of course, that made it even harder for me to hold back my laugh!

Joe was a typical brother in every respect. He used to have this wicked flick thing he did with his fingers where he would thump his sisters on the arm, sometimes leaving a welt! He jokingly referred to himself as “My Friend, Flicka,” but the recipients of his “flicks” didn’t think there was anything “friendly” about it!

I remember one time when we drove to Decatur, Illinois to visit our cousins on my mom’s side. Uncle Tom and Aunt Mary Lynch had five children, so we would all pair up with the cousin closest to our age. This particular time, Joe and our cousin Tommy formed their own club, and I desperately wanted to become a member. Even though I was just a skinny ten-year-old girl, I willingly subjected myself to a series of brutal initiation tests in order to prove my toughness; i.e. one of them swung me around in circles like a rag doll and flung me to the ground. I felt like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz. “First they took my arm and they threw it over there!” Of course I ended up in tears and loudly protested that they were “too rough!” Nevertheless, they decided that I was worthy of admission to their exclusive club. As I recall, our theme song was: “We’re rough, we’re tough, we’re ready, to freddy…..any time.” (Don’t ask me what it meant.)

To be fair, I wasn’t exactly the model little sister. When I was in the second grade, I had a favorite teacher named Sr. Vivian whom I just idolized. Well, Joe knew exactly how to push my buttons and he used to taunt me by saying that her real name was “Vivian Vulture.” I would get so angry. “She’s not Vivian Vulture! She’s Sister Vivian!” One day I’d had enough of my brother’s appalling attitude toward my saintly sister and so I decided it was time to turn him over to the authorities. Poor Joe. I guess Sister Vivian caught him in the hallway, grabbed him by the ear and gave him a good, stern lecture. I’m not sure if Joe has ever forgiven me for that dastardly deed! But somehow we all managed to survive each other.

After high school, Joe attended St. Louis University and went on to graduate from the University Of Minnesota School Of Medicine. I’ll never forget the time Joe and his new bride, Cindy, called to say that they would be passing through Kansas on their way to Colorado to go “practice hunting.” Keen and I were too embarrassed to admit that we’d never heard of practice hunting. I mean, here in Kansas, most people hunt for real – they don’t just practice. We didn’t understand that they were looking for a place for him to practice medicine. As you can imagine, Joe and Cindy had a full-size belly laugh over that one!

Now Joe is a family practice doctor in Waconia, Minnesota where he and Cindy are raising three beautiful children: Emily, Jenny and Patrick. Joe is such an amazing dad. Even with the demands of his medical practice and community involvement, he’s always made his family a top priority. In fact, Joe has coached his daughters’ basketball teams for years and they’ve gone on to compete and win many tournaments throughout the country. (Kansas State University and several Ivy League schools have even expressed interest in having Jenny play for them.) With parents like Joe and Cindy, I know all three of their kids will go far.

So Happy Birthday, buddy – and thanks for the memories. You’ll always hold a special place in my heart.

Here’s to fifty more!

“With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

~ Psalm 91:16

Jenny, Joe, Cindy, Patrick and Emily

Short and Sweet

“. . .Therefore let your words be few.”
~ Ecclesiastes 5:2b (NKJV)

To everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time for every purpose, under Heaven

There is a Season ~ Words adapted from the Book of Ecclesiastes by Pete Seeger

Brev·i·ty: noun – the attribute of being brief; conciseness of expression; the economical use of words in speech or writing

It’s been said that brevity is an art – one that I have not yet mastered. But starting today, I’m going to try. Yes, I’m turning over a new leaf, because as much as I enjoy pouring my heart out each week, I’ve decided that my columns are simply too long.

Now I can already hear the “Amens!” coming from the audience, as I’m sure many of you agree. (Remember – I’m cutting my teeth on you, so I’m learning as I go.) It’s just that I have so much I want to share and I hate to leave anything out, but I really need to learn how to use my words more “economically,” as the definition above suggests.

Another reason why I need to shorten my column is because of the time it takes to put it together each week. After pulling songs, poems, Bible verses and quotes from all four corners of the earth, and adding my own thoughts, I have to put them together in some kind of order that makes some kind of sense. After that, I edit my article at least three times, marking it up with changes each time. Then when I think I have it just the way I want it, I read the almost-finished product out loud to Keen so I can hear how it sounds. That process usually reveals several other changes that need to be made. When it’s all said and done, it seems like I spend the better part of my week producing my column/mini-book – which unfortunately doesn’t leave much time for other endeavors, including my “other book.” Since I tend to be an “all-or-none” type of person, it is often difficult for me to find the middle ground in situations like this. As a result, I even considered taking a break from writing my column. But then it made me sad to think about not being able to share my heart and life with all of you.

“If I say, I will not make mention of the Lord, or speak any more in His name, there is in my mind and heart as if it were a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I am weary with enduring and holding it in; I cannot contain it longer.”
~ Jeremiah 20:9

Speaking of my book, I just got it back from my manuscript editor, Barbara Lerma and now I have a whole new set of challenges to face. Even though Barbara has been very kind in saying that she hardly had to make any corrections, I can see all the pencil marks on the pages and am left to wonder how I even got the title right! In fact, that may be changing, too!

As an author’s editor, Barbara has been a Godsend at this stage of the project. She has a master’s degree in English from Emporia State University, so she knows all the rules concerning the proper mechanics of writing. While I may be a decent speller and my grammar is fair, the intricacies of punctuation seem to have escaped me. That’s where Barbara comes in.

Barbara has also made some suggestions about format and content. I guess you could say that it looks like a huge mountain to climb because I thought I was nearing completion. Now I realize that the finish line is still a very long way off. In some ways this book project feels like a never-ending marathon with a bottomless pit of steps and stages. But I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” ~ Galatians 6:9

Barbara has also become a great source of encouragement to me. She believes in the value of my project and sees it as an All-American story that’s a movie in the making. In a recent e-mail she wrote:

“[It] really made me want to stand up and cheer for your triumph after the Supreme Court decision. It is so remarkable. Your story has all the ingredients of a great story: description, dialogue, tension, rising action, turning point, falling action and a triumph--and it's all true, although it is almost unbelievable.”

Well, I think I’ve reached my word limit for this week, so I better close for now. Please pray for me that God will give me the ability to focus on keeping my columns short and sweet, and the strength and wisdom to see my book through to the end.
Until next time…

A New Version of Footprints
Author Unknown

Imagine you and Jesus are walking down the road together.
For much of the way, the Lord's footprints go along
steadily, consistently, rarely varying the pace.
But your footprints are a disorganized stream of zigzags,
starts, stops, turnarounds, circles, departures, and returns.
For much of the way, it seems to go like this,
but gradually your footprints come more in line
with the Lord's, soon paralleling His consistently.
You and Jesus are walking side by side as true friends!
This seems perfect, but then an interesting thing happens:
Your footprints that once etched the sand next to Jesus'
are now walking directly in His steps.
Inside His larger footprints are your smaller ones,
you and Jesus are becoming one.
This goes on for many miles,
but gradually you notice another change.

The footprints inside the large footprints seem to grow
larger. Eventually they disappear altogether.
There is only one set of footprints - they have become one.
This goes on for a long time, but suddenly the second
set of footprints is back. This time it seems even worse!
Zigzags all over the place. Stops. Starts. Gashes in the sand.
A variable mess of footprints. You are amazed and shocked.

Your dream ends. Now you pray:
"Lord, I understand the first scene with zigzags because
everything was new and I was just learning.
But You walked on through the storm and helped me
learn how to walk with You."

"That is correct."

"And when the smaller footprints were inside of Yours,
I was actually learning to walk in Your steps,
following You very closely."

"Very good. You have understood everything so far."

When the smaller footprints grew and filled in Yours,
I supposed that I was becoming more like You in every way."

"Precisely."

"So, Lord, was there a regression or something?
The footprints separated, and this time it was
worse than at first."

There was a pause as the Lord answered with a smile in His
voice: "Don’t you know? It was then that we danced!”

“And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from start to finish.”

~ Hebrews 12:2a (NLT)


Eileen and Barbara Lerma

Broken Hearts Mending

“Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.”
~ Proverbs 23:7b (KJV)

I can think of younger days
When living for my life
Was everything a man could want to do
I could never see tomorrow
But I was never told about the sorrow

And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?

How can you mend this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart
And let me live again

How Can You Mend a Broken Heart ~ recorded by the Bee Gees

This week I’d like to share the following poems about broken hearts – some which have mended and some mending still.

I’ll start with a short note from a poet friend of mine named Gale Rogers, followed by a poem he wrote – both of which he permitted me to share.

“After being rejected I wrote this poem. I loved your reflections that I just received [“Love’s Second Chance”], but all is not a happy ending. Don't mean to sound so sinister, but it has cut a deep scar. The good of it is it has helped me to rely more on God.”

A River of No Return
By Gale Rogers

There's a river of emotions pouring
out from deep within.
One I can neither control
nor cause to bend.
A river flooding the senses
to an ever growing depth.
With both feelings, of a raging torrent
and calmness of Summer's breath.

A river that ebbs and flows
with each beat of the heart.
Never faintly, always strong,
the current raced from the start.
A river growing wide and deep,
as it reached for more
Chasing a mysteriously forbidden
ever-elusive shore.
A river of emotions racing
toward an ending waterfall,
Knowing there may be no return,
the longing continues, and still the siren calls.

*********

“With pity let my breast o’erflow
When I behold another’s woe;
And bear a sympathizing part,
Whene’er I meet a wounded heart.”

A Treasure of Lincoln Quotations ~
Compiled and Edited by Fred Kerner

This next poem was written after my girlfriend’s marriage ended and she questioned whether she would ever love again.

I Remember
By Eileen Umbehr

I remember the night we stopped by her house
to see if it was true
Had he really broken her heart?
Yes.
He had.
It wasn’t the first time.
But she decided it would be the last.
She cried.
I remember how she cried.
“I’ll never find anyone who will treat me right.”
“Yes, you will,” we said.
“You’re a wonderful person. Someone will see that.”
And someone did.
I remember.
I remember how the light returned to her eyes
and the smile returned to her face.

He was perfect for her.
He called her “Jule.”
Because she was his jewel.
And he was hers.

I remember.

*******

“The heart of a child is the most precious of God's creation.
Never break it. At all costs, never break it.”
~ Joseph L. Whitten

This is a poem I wrote for one of our sons after he went through a painful breakup with his high school sweetheart.

Your broken heart
By Eileen Umbehr

I knew that your heart had been broken
And the betrayal was difficult to bear
I knew that you needed time to heal
And I tried to let you know that I cared

But words seemed so empty and meaningless
When your life had been turned inside out
You lost your best friend – the love of your life
Leaving only confusion and doubt

But I never knew the extent of your pain
Until you told me you still cried at night
After nearly six months, this came as a shock
Grief’s end was nowhere in sight

But then one day God whispered,
“Give your broken heart to Me.”
Then He healed it and gave it back again
And set your spirit free!


“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love.”
~ I John 4:16


STEADFAST HEART
By Fran Crownover

I've dreamed many dreams that never came true,
I've seen them vanish at dawn,
But I've realized enough of my dreams, Thank God,
To make me want to dream on.

I've prayed many prayers when no answer came,
Though I waited patient and long,
But answers have come to enough of my prayers,
To make me keep praying on.

I've trusted many a friend that failed,
And left me to weep alone,
But I've found enough of my friends true blue,
To make me keep trusting on.

I've sown many seeds that fell by the way,
For the birds to feed upon,
But I've held enough golden sheaves in my hands,
To make me keep sowing on.

I've drained the cup of disappointment and pain,
And gone many ways without song,
But I've sipped enough nectar from the roses of life,
To make me want to live on.

…and for the broken hearts yet mending, I add…

I’ve been pierced in the heart by betrayal’s arrow
And felt the sting of love gone wrong
But I’ve experienced enough of the goodness of God,
To make me want to love on.


“What, what would have become of me had I not believed to see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living!”
~ Psalm 27:13 (Amp)

Love's Second Chance

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.”
~ I John 4:18a

Looks like my heart has become
The safest place for us to run
I’ll be here for you when the day is done
Looks like my heart has found someone

Feels like sunshine, feels like rain
Lord it feels like love finally called my name
I wanna jump and shout, I wanna sing and dance
Lord it feels like love wants a second chance

Feels Like Love ~ recorded by Vince Gill



Recently I was talking to a friend of ours who has been married to his high school sweetheart for nearly 40 years. He was lamenting the fact that his two children have not been so lucky in love, although they are both happily married now. “Well,” I said, “sometimes you don’t find the right person on the first or even second try.”

When my sister Peggy’s five year marriage ended over thirty years ago, I remember writing a letter encouraging her not to give up on love. In that letter I shared the following words to a song whose author I no longer recall.

Take another little look at love again
Forget the one who came and took your love away
Everybody knows you’ve got the time to grow
Another little bit of love in your heart.

Well, Peggy did “take another little look at love again,” thank God, and she has been happily married to her husband Jim for over twenty years now. As an added bonus, Jim brought a beautiful daughter named Melissa into the family.

This is a poem I wrote for Melissa several years ago.

Our Melissa

You came into our lives as a toddler,
and you've been with us ever since;
Our family is blessed to know you,
of that I am convinced.

We've watched you grow up through the years,
into the lovely young woman you are;
We are all so proud of what you've accomplished,
to us, you're a bright, shining star!

You have added such joy to our family,
and enriched it more than words can say;
We just wouldn't be complete without you,
and our love for you grows day by day.

On this, your 19th birthday,
we pray that you will be blessed,
And we want you to know that we love you,
And wish you all of life's best!

Since then, Melissa has graduated from college, started a promising career, purchased her own home, and become engaged to the love of her life, Mark. Our family was so excited about the upcoming happy event that we decided to attend the wedding in lieu of the annual Van Kirk reunion. In fact, our brother Bob’s two kids, Caitlyn and Connor, will be in the wedding.

*******

Last year I read an uplifting book by SQire Rushnell (that’s not a typo – he capitalizes the second letter in his first name) titled, When God Winks on Love: Let the Power of Coincidence Lead You to Love. SQire is a former ABC television executive who found love after two failed attempts. He says that some couples are like pieces of a puzzle that just don’t fit; when you try to force them together, both pieces just end up getting damaged and hurt.

SQuire is currently married to Broadway actress and comedic impressionist, Louise DuArt, whom he had met thirty years earlier when he cast her as a comedienne for a Saturday morning television show (her first big break on TV).

“Godwinks, like a wink from Dad or Grandma that said, ‘Hey kid, I'm thinking of you right now,’ are little signposts from above reminding you that you are always on a sort-of Global Positioning System. You're never alone.” (www.whengodwinks.com)

The book is full of inspiring short stories about couples who found love after some amazing coincidences led them to each other.

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road,
that led me straight to you

~ Bless the Broken Road ~ recorded by Rascal Flatts

A few weeks ago, a book by Donna Hanover titled, “My Boyfriend’s Back: True Stories of Rediscovering Love with a Long-Lost Sweetheart,” was featured on the Oprah Show. After her divorce from former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani, Donna rekindled a relationship with her high school boyfriend, Ed Oster, and the two eventually married. After realizing that her experience wasn’t unique, she decided to interview other couples with similar stories.

“Hanover writes in a chatty, accessible style, adopting the tone of the experienced best friend . . . Exploring the myriad ways rekindled love is different from new love and why so many couples are reuniting now, Hanover also details the role of the Internet in this trend, and offers some recommendations-and some warnings-for aspiring "reunitees." (Editorial Reviews from Publishers Weekly, Amazon.com.)

I will face the world around me
Knowing that I'm strong enough to let you go
And I will fall in love again
Because I can

One Way Ticket (Because I Can) ~ recorded by Leann Rimes

Finally, I’d like to share a heartwarming story about “love’s second chance” from my friend, Kenneth Eck. Kenneth is a semi-retired pharmacist from Healdton, Oklahoma who writes a weekly newspaper column for The Healdton Herald called “Oilpatch Mania.”

The following account of how Kenneth met his first wife won a prize for best story.

How I met my Sweetheart
By Kenneth Eck

I attended high school with my future wife, but we were not well acquainted. Her impression of me was that I was a senior, snobbish and fickle, running with a fast crowd. I knew her parents, knew her name, but thought of her as one of the giggly sophomore girls, a church going girl and I am not sure I could put a face with the name. In later years she was employed as a beautician in a shop across the street from the drug store where I worked. She came in, frequently, to patronize the soda fountain. There was, admittedly, some flirting going on between us. I always felt kinda foolish in her presence. She apparently had made a reassessment and was, more than likely, seeking a stronger relationship. One evening, remember drug stores stayed open late in those days, she came in wearing a dazzling, new, red dress. This really took my eye, and with all eyes on her she took a seat in one of the booths. Wow! She was amazed to discover a wad of chewing gum, left on the seat, was attached to her new skirt. I, envisioning myself as a Lancelot, coming to the aid of a damsel, in distress, with a pint bottle of acetone. After all I had removed gum from seats, counters and floors with acetone. It worked wonders. Unfortunately, I was not aware that the dress and underlying slip were made of some of the new synthetic fibers that were beginning to be popular. A splash of acetone on a big ball of cotton, applied to the gum, and lo and behold it removed the gum and dissolved the dress material and the slip beneath it right before our eyes, just like magic. I know my face was a stop-light-red, and stammering and stuttering I tried to explain that I would pay for the dress, do anything to assuage her feelings. She was very gracious, much more than I would have been if the circumstances were reversed, and left the store refusing any help. She returned a short time later with a fresh change of clothing. I was still stammering my apologies. The incident dissolved the fabric, but served to cement the relationship. A year later we were married. We were married for 48 years when I lost her due to a tainted blood transfusion that caused the fatal non-A non-B Hepatitis.

*******

Kenneth had three sons with his first wife, all of whom are very successful. In April of 1989, he was blessed to marry his second wife, Lorraine, a widow with two grown daughters. When I asked Kenneth how he and Lorraine met, this was his reply:

“I had known Lorraine a long time. She and her husband moved here and she taught in a school four miles from here. They moved here when I was in the Navy in W.W. II, so I did not know them until later. He was a butcher in a local grocery store. One of the best butchers in the area. When television came along, he took a course in that and went into business for himself. He was very successful and a good investor, also. She taught in three area schools, including ours. When he went into the T.V. business she began teaching piano and vocal at home. I bought my first T.V. from him, and of course just knew her as a drug store customer, mainly. She belonged to a bunco club that met once a month. I was invited to a Christmas bunco party at a friend's house, and realized that she would make a good companion to go places, and was encouraged by my sister, who had moved in with me after my wife died. So we went out to eat now and then, over a period of time.....and it all came about from there.”

So you see, young or old, it’s never too late to take another little look at love again.

"A thought transfixed me: for the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth--that love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire. . . . The salvation of man is through love and in love."

~ Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning


You are

You are the sun in my morning
You are the green that colors my leaves
You are the rain that makes me grow
You are the warmth in the sun that allows me to glow
You are the force unseen...
the angel unknown but to me.

~ Written by my sweetheart, Keen, on March 14, 2004
(one week before I returned from Nevada)

“Beloved, let us love one another; for love is of God, and he who loves is born of God and knows God.”
~ I John 4:7 (RSV)



Peggy, Melissa, and Jim on Wedding Day 1984



Melissa - "All Grown Up"

Rejecting Rejection

“Then let us no more criticize and blame and pass judgment on one another ...”

~ Romans 14:13

But it's all right now,
I learned my lesson well.
You see, you can't please everyone,
So you’ve got to please yourself

Garden Party ~ recorded by Rick Nelson

I seem to be stuck on a particular theme lately. For the past two weeks I’ve been writing about using your God-given talents to the fullest and following your heart until you find your niche. This week, I’d like to talk about the negative fallout that sometimes occurs when you succeed at “all of the above.” I’m referring to criticism and rejection.

“I hope when I'm a comedian – IF I'm a comedian – that they don't throw tomatoes at me."
Josh Umbehr ~ age 5

All of us have experienced some form of rejection in our lifetime – and it hurts. I remember when I was in the fifth grade we had a substitute teacher that was a real pushover. Admittedly, the class collectively took advantage of the situation, which included an all-out spitball fight. I don’t recall being the instigator, per se, but I suppose there’s a good chance that I was. At any rate, when our regular teacher returned and heard the bad report, she took me out in the hall, stuck her finger in my face and angrily said, “You think you’re the cat’s meow!” Her words really put a knife in my heart and made me feel like I was about one inch tall.

Two years later, I recall another incident involving my seventh grade teacher. School had already been dismissed for the day but I wanted to ask the teacher a question. So when I opened the door to our classroom I unknowingly interrupted a meeting he was having with another individual. For some reason, this really ticked him off. As a punishment, he gave me a paper filled with terrible things he had written about me. He then instructed me to write out the entire page fifty times! I’m not exaggerating when I say that his handwritten diatribe filled about three fourths of an 8 x 10 piece of paper. I still remember sitting at my desk in my bedroom and crying while I re-wrote that awful paper describing me in the most hateful way you can imagine. I know you’re probably wondering what he said but I really can’t remember that much, but I do recall one part of it. He wrote: “Cute, funny, Eileen thinks she is so cute and funny…..” This phrase was repeated over and over. I guess he wanted to humiliate me for interrupting him and he certainly succeeded

Then there was my 8th grade year, which was probably the hardest year of my life. I can’t tell you why, but the whole class basically decided to boycott Eileen Van Kirk.
Everyone in the class completely ignored me; no one would talk to me during lunch or play with me at recess. I was completely alone and every day I would go home and cry.

One particularly painful incident occurred one day when Sr. Colleen was out of the room for an extended period of time. I was sitting in the last chair in the back corner of the classroom when someone started passing something around from desk to desk. As each person looked at the paper, they laughed and passed it on to the next person. After making its way around the entire room, it finally made it to my desk. When I looked at the paper I saw that someone had drawn a diagram of me, complete with lines describing every part of my body in unflattering terms: straggly hair, knobby knees, hairy legs, funny rain hat. I was so humiliated and hurt that I just ran out of the room. When Sr. Colleen came out in the hall to talk to me I told her I was never coming back. She tried her best to comfort me and, of course, I did have to go back.

I think the hardest part was that not one single person in my class stood by my side. I could see sympathy in the eyes of a few of my classmates, but I guess they were too intimidated by the ringleaders and they didn’t want to become the object of such hatefulness.

The following year I attended the public school and my life made a complete turnaround. The greatest group of friends you would ever want to meet welcomed me into their circle: Margie Friedlander, Nan Turner, Jill Feldman, Sally McGuire and a host of other fun-loving girls. We were involved in sports and cheerleading and went skiing on the weekends. That’s why I was so devastated when I found out we were moving to Singapore – I didn’t want to leave my great new friends. But that’s another story.

In some ways I feel that experience helped prepare me for future rejection I would face. Ever since Keen started writing “My Perspective” back in 1989 the lines were clearly drawn. Many people hated him for his intrusion into the public affairs of Wabaunsee County and those who supported him were too afraid to show that support publicly, much like my sympathetic but fearful friends in the eighth grade. Keen and I never blamed people for wanting to protect themselves from similar retaliation, but it still hurt that no one – or very few people – stood by us.

Back in 1995, one of those faithful supporters, Linda Jernigan, sent us the following quote from The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli:

"It must be considered that there is nothing more difficult to carry out or more doubtful of success, nor dangerous to handle, than to initiate a new order of things. For the reformer has enemies...and only lukewarm defenders."

That brings us to the present day. I don’t know how many of you happened to read the article that Matt Moline wrote about my book project which appeared in the December 6, 2004 edition of The Topeka Capital-Journal under the title, “Tale of Trashman Detailed by Wife in Manuscript.” Of course I was very excited about finally completing the rough draft and getting it into the hands of my editor. I received quite a bit of feedback after the article was published, but I was not prepared for the letter I received from one woman who wrote to say that God told her I was a “bitter young woman” who has not been able to forgive.
Well, that sort of threw me for a loop at first, especially since we used to go to church with the woman who wrote the letter. I wondered why she assumed I was bitter and unforgiving just because I was writing a book about our experiences. This is a record of our personal history – one that I feel compelled to write. Furthermore, Keen and I don’t have any hatred or unforgiveness in our hearts towards anyone. Did we hate what they did to us? You bet. Did we hate the stress and financial strain the extended battle placed on our family? Absolutely. But we never hated them. There’s a big difference.
The author of the letter went on to explain that when she was a young girl her “wise old aunt” told her that the way to get rid of the warts on her hands was to bury her mother’s dish rag in a hole in the woods – and she claimed it worked. Then she wrote:

“I’d like to suggest you go to a timber area and dig a big hole and bury that 620 page manuscript in that deep hole and turn to Jesus and ask His forgiveness for yourself and for all the people who hurt you. Then you can begin living as a free person.”

The whole letter was very disconcerting and bizarre, although I really don’t think she wrote it in a mean-spirited way. Nonetheless, I decided not to respond because it sounded like she had already made up her mind about my motives.

“A writer lives with rejection…A writer needs the sensitivity of a butterfly in touching the outside world – and the skin of a rhino to withstand its disregard.”

~ Sophy Burnham, For Writers Only

This experience reminded me once again about the importance of “rejecting rejection.” I realize that I have to become thick-skinned and accept the fact that there will be many criticisms about my book. It’s like anything else in life – everyone has different tastes in food, clothing styles, movies, music, humor, and yes, books and newspaper columns.

“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” ~ Bill Cosby

I did receive some positive feedback on the article, however. One woman from Topeka sent a letter to Governor Sebelius suggesting that she issue an official proclamation recognizing Keen for his accomplishments. She said he was an inspiration and a role model.
So the comments go both ways – positive and negative. But the best way to handle it is not to let the praise go to your head or the criticism go to your heart. Because in actuality, it really doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks – good or bad.

“If my life is fruitless, it doesn’t matter who praises me: if my life is fruitful, it doesn’t matter who criticizes me.”
~John Bunyon


In the April 23-25, 2004 edition of USA Weekend Magazine, Maria Shriver was interviewed about her new role as the first lady of California. Maria talked about how she sought advice from several of her predecessors, including Nancy Reagan.
“Nancy gave me a great piece of advice,” Maria stated. “She said, ‘No matter what, you’ll be criticized. So do whatever you want to do.’”

Anyway
Author Unknown

People are often unreasonable, illogical and
self-centered… forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish,
ulterior motives… be kind anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat or
malign you…be honest anyway.

What you spend years building, someone may
try to destroy overnight… build anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends
and some true enemies . . . succeed anyway

If you find serenity and happiness, some people
may be jealous…be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget
tomorrow…. do good anyway.

Give the world your best, and it may never be
enough… give the world your best anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you
and God…it was never between you and them, anyway.


“I receive not glory from men – I crave no human honor, I look for no mortal fame.”
~John 5:41 (Amp)

Finding Your Niche

“We are one body but all members do not have the same function. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us.”
~ Romans 12:4-6

The wind is moving
But I am standing still
A life of pages
Waiting to be filled
A heart that’s hopeful
A head that’s full of dreams
But this becoming
Is harder than it seems
Feels like I’m …

Looking for a reason
Roaming through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world

~Place in This World ~ by Michael W. Smith and Wayne Kirkpatrick

I’d like to dedicate this column to a dear friend of mine from my high school days, Scott Carson. I met Scott in 1974 when I was a sophomore at Singapore American School. Scott was a fellow member of the “Friday night Bible Study group” that Keen and I attended. In fact, he was the person who first invited me to join the group. Up until that point, my sister and I were very unhappy at SAS because we just hadn’t been able to make any friends. Our mom wisely assured us that if things didn’t improve, we could transfer to the International School. It brought us great comfort to know that we had other options, but I’m sure Mom knew that it was only a matter of time before we found a group of friends. As usual, Mom was right.

In this recent email, Scott reminisced about the “good old days.”

“Do you remember the day we met? I was wearing a "One Way" pin on my OVERALLS (ah, the '70s!) and as we passed in the stairwell you said, "Praise the Lord, brother!" Although we go for years at a time without contact, I count you amongst those treasured friends I was blessed with in Singapore. I don't believe I've had friendships with that same level of intensity and intimacy since then. We were truly blessed during those golden years, weren't we? And look at us now, 30+ years later and STILL benefiting from those marvelous blessings.”

It was a very special time in our lives and I also consider the friendships I made there some of my most cherished.

Now the idea of attending a weekly Bible study might not sound too exciting to most teenagers, but let me tell you, we laughed and had more fun in that group than you can imagine. After Bible study we would take a bus to the “pasam malam” (that’s Malay for night market) and sample the local foods. My personal favorite was fried bananas. On Saturdays we would often take boat rides to nearby islands such as Sentosa and Sisters Island and sometimes we went on weekend Bible retreats to Malaysia (Chendor and Port Dickson).

Scott was always the funny man in the group and we were convinced that he would become a famous comedian someday. He could light up a room with his smile and have us all in stitches with his antics and great sense of humor. Of course, he had his serious side, too. Everyone who knew Scott felt blessed by his energy and the love of God he exuded.

As Scott mentioned in his email, we haven’t stayed in close touch over the years, but we have managed to continue to exchange Christmas cards. (He’s one of those people who mails his cards out by December 1st.) A couple of years ago Scott moved to St. Louis, so I’m hoping that our paths will cross again one of these days.

This poem by F.C. (Fred) Appelhanz could have been written for Scott, as it seems to describe him perfectly. Fred, who is a new poet friend of mine from Holton, Kansas, has kindly permitted me to share his gift of poetry.

Special
By F.C. Appelhanz

Let your laughter speak,
of the goodness in your heart.
Moving the world,
touching our core,
just with a smile.
See the impact you cause,
with the lightness of your presence
Reaching us all,
soothing our cares,
just being yourself.
All that you have to give,
is the only purpose you know.
Caring your meaning,
calling us home,
just with a wink.
For all the love you bring,
in the unconditional life you live.
Sharing your soul, giving from deep inside,
Just a pure joy.

Lately Scott and I have been getting caught up via email and he told me about the various side roads he traveled on the journey to finding his current profession, which he dearly loves. Scott has held many different jobs ranging from insurance salesman, to Naval Officer, to bartender, to casket delivery man.

In the book titled, “If You Want to Walk on Water, You’ve Got to Get Out of the Boat,” author John Ortberg writes:

“A calling is something you discover, not something you choose. The word vocation comes from the Latin word for voice. Discovering it involves very careful listening. What brings you joy? For what do you have desire and passion – for these, too, are gifts from God. This is why giftedness is about more than just talents – it includes passion. As Arthur Miller says, ‘It’s the lifeblood of a person, the song that her heart longs to sing, the race that his legs were born to run.’”

Ortberg then shared the following quote from Michael Novak:

“We didn’t give ourselves the personalities, talents, or longings we were born with. When we fulfill these – these gifts from beyond ourselves – it is like fulfilling something we were meant to do . . .the Creator of all things knows the name of each of us – knows thoroughly, better than we do ourselves, what is in us, for he put it there and intends for us to do something with it – something that meshes with his intentions for many other people. Even if we do not always think of it that way, each of us was given a calling – by fate, by chance, by destiny, by God. Those who are lucky have found it.”

Last week, after reading my column about God-given gifts, Scott sent me a very moving letter which beautifully illustrates the long and winding road we often take on the journey to “finding our niche.” With Scott’s permission, I’d like to share it with you

Hi,

Thanks for including me on your "Reflections" distribution list. Many times in my life I've looked with envy on people who can say, "...I knew I wanted to be a _______ since I was 8 years old..." since I am one of those people who made it to adulthood with no clue of what my vocation would be. I knew there were many things I liked to do, but they were not activities I wanted to turn to for profit since that would rob them of the joy and fun they provided me. Such callings as teacher, minister, writer and counselor tugged at my heart, but each time I ventured toward formalizing them into "my career," they vanished before my eyes and trickled between my fingers like so much sand. One day I answered a classified advertisement for a position at a health department and got the job. Many years later I realized that the callings from long ago had merged to create a vocation that is more precious than anything I could have deliberately chosen for myself. I help people learn about disease, I create training manuals for health care professionals, I've spent time on the street meeting people who live in abandoned crates on vacant lots, and I dialog with people about how to alter their behavior in order to stay well. It was then that God chuckled in my ear and said, "See, you ARE a teacher, a minister, a writer, a counselor...I just made sure you got to do those things in an extraordinary way so you won't get bored."

For many years I worked with people infected with, affected by, or who risked infection with HIV. A seminary classmate once criticized me for spending time with "those people," and I was stunned. What is the proper response to a statement like that? My reaction was to sit there with my mouth hanging open, and since, for once, I wasn't blabbering on and on, God took the opportunity to use my idle vocal apparatus and said to my friend, "I'll help them stay well long enough for you to get them into church and save their souls..."

I work in public health. It is my ministry, my classroom, my counseling office, and my great masterpiece. I love my coworkers and my clients, and I love lying down at night and thinking, "...I helped someone today..." I could not see this path at 8 years old, but now I am glad because God showed me some marvelous scenery along the way, and used each experience to shape me into what He needs me to be.

Love to you, old friend,

Scott

“Then the King will say to those on the right, `Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.'”

~Matthew 25:34-36 (NLT)

Scott Carson

God-Given Gifts

“But each has his own special gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.”
~ I Corinthians 7:7 (RSV)

It’s hard to believe, but I’ve been writing this column for a year and a half now. It seems like only yesterday that I ventured outside my comfort zone by asking Joann Kahnt if she would be willing to allow me to write a column in The Prairie Post. I just can’t thank Joann enough for saying yes, because I have enjoyed (and continue to enjoy) the experience so much. Even though it takes a certain amount of time to put the column together, I consider it a privilege to be given this opportunity to express myself.

I’d also like to thank you, the readers, for your interest in my thoughts, feelings, poems and stories. In moments of self-doubt, I sometimes wonder what makes me think that anyone would be interested in my life or the lessons I’ve learned along the way. But then I think about Laura Ingalls Wilder and how she wrote about her family’s life on the prairie. She had an irrepressible urge to share the everyday happenings of her life, and so do I. And even though I don’t know many of you (except for those who receive my column via email), I feel a connection to you because you’ve allowed me to come into your homes week after week and share the ups and downs of my life. For that, I am deeply grateful.

I’d also like to take this opportunity to thank those of you who have provided me with so much support and encouragement along this journey. Special thanks to my dad, stepmom, husband, kids and siblings. Also my friends from across the country: Kathi in Mississippi, Vicki in Georgia, Jack & Evelyn in Florida, Kenneth in Oklahoma, Marne, Rumelia and Barbara in Kansas, my godfather Bill in Virginia, Jean in Nevada, Angie in Missouri, Larry in Singapore, Mae and Peggy in Texas and finally, from Council Grove, Kansas, Rebecca, Shirley and Connie (the proprietor of The Cottage House - our favorite bed and breakfast). Your notes, comments and emails have meant more to me than you’ll ever know.

When I first started writing my column, my friend Linda Jernigan sent me the following note of encouragement.

“You’re not an inspiring writer, you’re a writer that is inspired by people and real life subjects that people want to read about, even more so during hard times in the world and our everyday lives. Say ten times everyday, OK! I AM A WRITER!”

When Keen and I celebrated our 25th anniversary, we had to fill out our personal information for the announcement in the paper. I stated that Keen was a student at Washburn Law School, but I went back and forth about how to describe myself. I finally decided to list my occupation as “homemaker”, even though in my heart I wanted to include, “aspiring writer.” That would’ve been a true statement, but since I don’t have any formal training and I’ve never attended a day of college, I just didn’t think I qualified. But little by little I’m getting more comfortable with the idea that I am not only a homemaker, wife, and mother, but I am also a writer. By continuing to share my reflections each week, I’m trying to utilize whatever God-given talents I may have.

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.'”
~Erma Bombeck

The truth of the matter is, we all have some natural abilities that God expects us to use. As my sister Peggy’s favorite teacher used to say: “A talent not used is a talent in decay.”

It reminds me of the story in the Bible about the master who gave his servants some talents. One received ten talents, one five and the other received one. The servant with the one talent feared what would happen if he lost or squandered his talent, so he “played it safe” and buried it.

But that did not please his master. In fact, I get the feeling that his master would have preferred to see the servant try and fail, than to never try at all. He said, “At least you could have invested it and earned interest!” Then he took the talent away and gave it to the man with ten talents. (Matthew 25:28) So If God has given you talents, He wants you to do something with them! He wants you to use them!

“For out of His fullness (abundance) we all received . . . one grace after another and spiritual blessing upon spiritual blessing, and even favor upon favor and gift [heaped upon gift] . . .”

~ John 1:16

In his best selling book, The Purpose Driven Life, Author Rick Warren writes:

"God shaped you for a purpose and He expects you to make the most of what you've been given. Focus on the talents He's given you. When you attempt to serve God in ways you weren't meant to, it feels like a square peg in a round hole. It leaves you feeling frustrated and produces limited results. It's a waste of your time, energy and talent....Discover your shape, learn to accept it and then develop it to its full potential. Take a long look at what you're good at and what you're not good at. Ask yourself, ‘When do I feel most alive? What do I most enjoy doing? What am I doing when I lose track of time? Am I an extrovert or an introvert? Do I like working alone or in a group? What am I passionate about?’"

That’s such good advice. It’s been said that if you do something you love, then you’ll never work a day in your life. That’s not to say that following your dreams won’t involve hard work, because it will. But when you’re working toward a goal that will allow you to fulfill your deepest passion, then it’s worth whatever it takes to get there.

"The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work."
~ Emile Zola (1840-1902)

The three things I am most passionate about are God, my family and writing; I need little else to make me happy. And even though my particular style of writing may not appeal to everyone, that’s all right, because I can’t write to please this person or that person – I have to write in the style that’s most natural to me. I have to take what’s in my heart and share it, like a painter who expresses himself on canvas. God doesn’t want me to try to be like anybody else, He just wants me to be the best “me” that I can be. Anything less would seem empty and phony.

I think it was Abraham Lincoln who said that if you give a man six lines he’ll have you fit for hanging by the end of the day. That’s the calculated risk every writer takes. With every stroke of the pen, we create fresh opportunities for our critics. But as I stated in an earlier column, that’s a risk I’m willing to take.

Because I have no other choice
What people think, I cannot care
For it’s the nature of the poet
To want and need to share.

~ The Nature of the Poet, by Eileen Umbehr

The movie Chariots of Fire depicted the true story of Eric Liddle and Harold Abrahams who overcame many obstacles to run for the gold in the 1924 Olympics. In one portion of the movie, Eric’s sister chastised him for running in the Olympics when there were lost souls to be saved and his missionary needed him in China. When she asked him how he could justify it he replied, "I must run, because when I run, I feel His pleasure."

That’s how I feel about writing. I must write – I’m compelled to write – because that’s when I feel like I’m doing what God put me on this earth to do. When I’m not working on my book or my column, then I’m writing a poem or a letter to a friend. If left to my own devices, I will always choose to write.

When Toby Keith was interviewed about the song titled “The Angry American”, he said, “When you write something, you never know how many legs it’s gonna grow or how many branches or people you’re going to affect.”

“But words are things and a small drop of ink,
Falling like dew upon a thought,
Produces that which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think."

~ Lord Byron, English poet, 1819

This past week my column grew a few more “branches” when our son Josh completed a web page or “blog” (short for web log) which contains all my past Reflections columns, complete with pictures. I told Josh that I was very comfortable just writing for the readers of The Prairie Post, but since technology has made it possible for me to expand my audience, I guess it’s time for me to leave my comfort zone once again.

If you’d like to check out my page on the internet, you can go to http://reflections-eileen.blogspot.com/.

The following poem was written by Irene Toburen of Waterville, Kansas, who graciously granted me permission to share it.


A Gift
By Irene Toburen

What have you brought to the table today?
The table of hope, not despair,
We each have been given a special gift,
That with others we may share.

It may be a gift of happiness,
Or one with a cheery smile,
You may just gladden a heart today.
Making someone's life seem worthwhile.

Maybe a pat on a small child's head,
Or a story to a little child told,
Take a walk in another's shoes,
Someone who is alone or old.

Then maybe you will understand,
The problems some others face,
And you'll know how a word of hope and a smile,
Could help you to show God's grace.

The sunshine of hope will beam brighter,
When we someone's spirits lift,
And we share in another's happiness,
When we share our God-given gift.

“Be sure to carry out the work the Lord gave you.”
~ Colossians 4:17 (NLT)

Forgiveness is the Key

"Come now, let us reason together," says the Lord. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool." ~ Isaiah 1:18

Both my father and my godfather have suggested that some of my columns are “a little heavy on the Bible verses.” If you agree, then this week’s column may not be your cup of tea.

To me, the subject of forgiveness is one of the most important issues addressed in the Bible – both God’s forgiveness of us and our forgiveness of others. So much hinges on our understanding of that one little word.

The first area of forgiveness I’d like to talk about is God’s forgiveness of us.

“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” ~ 1 John 1:8,9

As a young girl growing up in the Catholic Church, I learned about the importance of God’s forgiveness from an early age. I remember going to confession and having to think up things to confess to the priest. “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned, my last confession was…..” Some of my old “standby sins” were lying or being disrespectful to my mother and talking in church. (Who me?) However, one time I did commit a more serious offense when I stole some candy from the corner store. I felt so terrible after I got home, I just cried and cried. In an attempt to right the wrong and clear my conscience, I decided to empty my piggy bank and return to the store the next day. I didn’t come completely clean, however, because I waited until no one was around and then I plopped my money on the store counter and ran like the wind.

“For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
~ Hebrews 4:15-16

So even though I don’t go to the confessional anymore, I still confess my sins on a regular basis and am deeply grateful for God’s forgiveness.

The other area of forgiveness involves our forgiveness of others – and the Bible has a whole lot of things to say on this subject.

“Then Peter came up and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.”
~ Matthew 18: 21,22

I remember one time several years ago when I was really struggling with unforgiveness in my heart towards another person. I felt very justified in my position and had a real attitude of indignation about the whole matter. After all, I was right and what they did was wrong – there wasn’t any way around that!

Then one day my husband Keen came to me with his Bible in hand and asked me to read the following verses:

“For if you forgive people their trespasses – that is, their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go and giving up resentment – your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their trespasses – their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go and giving up resentment – neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses.”
~ Matthew 6: 14,15 (Amplified)

Suddenly, I wasn’t feeling quite so self-righteous. What choice did I have after reading those verses? If I didn’t find it in my heart to forgive and “give up resentment”, then God would not find it in His heart to forgive me for all of my “reckless and willful sins.” I would be like the wicked servant in Matthew 18:23-35 who was forgiven such a great debt (about $10,000,000) but was unwilling to forgive the man who owed him a very small amount (about $20.00). Once his master heard about it, he called him and said, “You contemptible and wicked servant! I forgave and cancelled all that great debt of yours because you begged me; and shouldn’t you not have had pity and mercy on your fellow servant?” He then turned him over to the jailers until he paid all that he owed. The story ends with the following verse: “So also My heavenly Father will deal with every one of you, if you do not freely forgive your brother from your heart his offenses.”

So by the grace of God, I made a decision to forgive that individual completely – from my heart. Don’t get me wrong, it didn’t change what they’d done one iota – but it changed me completely. (As author Stormie Omartian says: “Forgiving someone doesn’t make them right nor justify what they did – it just makes you free.”) I can’t even begin to explain the transformation that came over me after I made the decision to obey God and forgive. The bitterness and resentment immediately melted away and I was able to truly love them with my whole heart.

“It is a man’s glory to overlook a transgression or an offense.”
~ Proverbs 19:11

A Lesson in Forgiveness
Author Unknown

One day a while back, a man, his heart heavy with grief, was walking in the woods. As he thought about his life this day, he knew many things were not right. He thought about those who had lied about him back when he had a job.

His thoughts turned to those who had stolen his things and cheated him. He remembered family that had passed on. His mind turned to the illness he had that no one could cure. His soul was filled with anger, resentment and frustration.

Standing there this day, searching for answers he could not find, knowing all else had failed him, he knelt at the base of an old oak tree to seek the One he knew would always be there. With tears streaming down his face, he prayed:

“Lord, You have done wonderful things for me in this life. You have told me to do many things for you, and I happily obeyed. Today, you have told me to forgive. I am sad, Lord, because I cannot. I don't know how. It is not fair, Lord. I didn't deserve these wrongs that were done to me and I shouldn't have to forgive. As perfect as Your way is, this one thing I cannot do; my anger is too deep. Now I fear that I may not hear You, but I pray that You would teach me to do this one thing – please teach me to forgive.”

As he knelt there in the quiet shade of that old oak tree, he felt something fall onto his shoulder. He opened his eyes and out of the corner of one eye, he saw something red on his shirt.

He raised his head and saw two feet held to the tree with a large spike through them. He raised his head more, and tears came to his eyes as he saw Jesus hanging on a cross. He saw spikes in His hands, a gash in His side, a torn and battered body, and deep thorns sunk into His head. Finally he saw the suffering and pain on His precious face. As their eyes met, the man's tears turned to sobbing, and Jesus began to speak.

"Have you ever told a lie?" He asked.
The man answered, "Yes, Lord."

"Have you ever been given too much change and kept it?"
The man again answered, "Yes, Lord."

"Have you ever taken something from work that wasn't yours?" Jesus asked?

And once again, the man answered, "Yes, Lord."

"Have you ever sworn, using my Father's name in vain?"
The man cried, “Yes, Lord."

As Jesus asked many more times, "Have you ever ….?", the man's crying became
uncontrollable, and he could only answer, "Yes, yes, Lord."

Then Jesus turned His head from one side to the other and the man felt something fall on his other shoulder. It was the blood of Jesus. When he looked into His eyes, he saw a look of love he had never seen or known before.

Then Jesus softly whispered, "I didn't deserve this either, but I forgive you."

“Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another . . . even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” ~ Colossians 3:13 (KJV)


Forgiveness
By Brenda Terrell

When a hurtful word is spoken, or an unkind deed is done
I always must remember, I am not the only one
Who has ever been mistreated, stepped upon or pushed aside
By thoughtless, harmful actions, or selfish hateful pride.

The world is full of people, who purposely abuse
Who lie and cheat and slander, and manipulate and use
Anyone and everyone, who might get in their way
Of success or fame or power; no price too big to pay.

God's word is clear and simple, about what I must do
When I have been offended, by friend or foe's misuse:
"Forgive...and be forgiven" – I dare not keep a score
Seventy times seven, times seven hundred more.

When I am unforgiving, the battle I'll not win;
For I need my Father's mercy, to blot out all my sin.
Forgiving is not easy, yet I know it can be done:
I look to Christ my Savior, the holy, sinless One.

When Jesus died upon the cross, His words rang clear and true,
"Father, please forgive them, for they know not what they do."
As the Precious Lamb of God, Christ wants me to see:
Forgiving is the power that sets my spirit free!
Yes, forgiveness is God's wondrous gift, that sets my spirit free!

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”
~ Ephesians 4:31, 32 (NLT)

Numbering our Days

“So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”
~ Psalm 90:12 (NKJV)

“If you knew you only had one more day to live, who would you call, what would you say and what are you waiting for?” ~ Anonymous

He said, I was in my early forties, with a lot of life before me,
when a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
I spent most of the next days, looking at the x-rays.
Talkin’ ‘bout the options and talkin’ about sweet time.
I asked him when it sank in, that this might really be the real end,
How’s it hit ya’, when you get that kind of news?
Man what did ya do?

And he said: I went skydiving, I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull name Fu Man Chu
And I loved deeper, And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I’d been denyin’
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin’.

He said, I was finally the husband, that most the time I wasn’t.
And I became a friend a friend would like to have.
All of a sudden goin’ fishin, wasn't such an imposition,
and I went three times that year I lost my dad.
Well, I finally read the Good Book, and took a good long hard look
at what I would do if I could do it all again.
And then….

I went skydiving, I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull name Fu Man Chu
And I loved deeper, And I spoke sweeter
And I watched an eagle as it was flyin’

And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin’.

Live like you were dying ~ recorded by Tim McGraw

“As for man, his days are like grass; as a flower of the field, so he flourishes.
For the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more.
But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children's children, to such as keep His covenant, and to those who remember His commandments to do them.”
~ Psalm 103:15-18 (NKJV)

The dawn of a new year always brings much introspection. We often look back with a mixture of satisfaction and regret and we look to the future with promise. We vow to eat better, exercise more and live life to the fullest. We hope… we pray…we dream.

The Dream
By Eileen Umbehr

The love, the joy, the laughter
Time has robbed us of these things
The endless pursuit of profit has filled every open space
What is left for all that is important?
Why must life be so backwards?
In my dreams, all is set aright.
Work becomes a bit player - just enough to survive.
Time to love - God, our children, each other.
Time to laugh…… Time to live…. Time to dream…..

I wrote that poem nearly ten years ago. Shortly after it was published in the poetry section of the Topeka Capital-Journal, I received the following note from my friend and long-time Alma columnist, Ada Sage Laverty. (From the Old Stone House)

My dear Eileen,
I have just read your sad little verse in the Topeka paper. You indeed have reasons to be sad, but the important things in life remain for you: a devoted husband and children, your green acres and your active youth - these are not just dreams. I, at 88, have lost all of these things, and I, too, am melancholy, so I do understand, but assure you that time and your dearest treasures, which remain, will bring brighter days for you.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Ada Sage Laverty


Mrs. Laverty was right. I still have those things – and people – that matter most. And since none of us knows how long we have on this earth, it’s important that we cherish the time we have with those we love and be grateful for their presence in our lives.

*************************

Over the Christmas holidays, Keen, Kirk and I decided to drive 700 miles to Conroe, Texas to surprise Keen’s parents, Jim & Jean Umbehr. Keen’s sister Kihm was there from North Carolina and his brother Kevin and family live nearby, so we had an unscheduled Umbehr family reunion. We haven’t all been together since Josh & Lisa’s wedding a year and a half ago and it’s been even longer since we were all together at Christmas, so it was a very special time. Keen’s mom kept saying that having all three of her kids home for Christmas was the best gift she could have ever received.

On the day after Christmas, we decided to commemorate the Umbehr family gathering by having a professional picture taken at J.C. Penny’s studio. The traffic was crazy and the crowds at the mall were insane, but we were determined! It’s nothing short of a miracle that we were all color coordinated and actually looked like we were happy to be there!

Keen & His Parents, Jim & Jean, Brother Kevin, & sister Kihm

During our visit, I came across an old book titled Heart Throbs – The Old Scrap Book, which was published in 1905. It belonged to Keen’s maternal grandmother, Mae Bartlett, and is a collection of stories and poems compiled by Joe Mitchell Chapple of the National Magazine, Boston, Massachusetts. Mr. Chapple ran an ad in The National Magazine asking the readers to send him “ . . .heart throbs – those things that make us all kin; those things that endure – the classics of our own lives.” He wrote: “Send me a clipping, a story, an anecdote, or a selection that has touched your heart . . .Wholesome good cheer, humor, comfort, hope – those things that make dark days endurable and sunny days enduring . . . Heart throbs – yes, heart throbs of happiness, heart throbs of courage, heart throbs that make us feel better . . .”

The following poem from Heart Throbs seemed to fit with this week’s theme.

How did you die?
By Edmund Vance Cooke

Did you tackle the trouble that came your way
With a resolute heart and cheerful?
Or hide your face from the light of day
With a craven soul and fearful?

O, a trouble’s a ton, or a trouble’s an ounce,
Or a trouble is what you make it,
And it isn’t the fact that you’re hurt that counts,
But only, how did you take it?

You are beaten to earth? Well, well, what’s that?
Come up with a smiling face.
It’s nothing against you to fall down flat,
But to lie there – that’s disgrace.

The harder you’re thrown, why the higher you bounce;
Be proud of your blackened eye!
It isn’t the fact that you’re licked that counts;
It’s how did you fight – and why?

And though you be done to the death, what then?
If you battled the best you could,
If you played your part in the world of men,
Why, the Critic will call it good.

Death comes with a crawl, or comes with a pounce.
And whether he’s slow or spry,
It isn’t the fact that you’re dead that counts,
But only, how did you die?


“The abundance of our lives is not determined by how long we live, but by how well we live.” ~ Anonymous


LIVING BETWEEN STEPS
Author Unknown

A university professor tells of being invited to speak at a military base one December and meeting an unforgettable soldier named Ralph.

Ralph had been sent to meet him at the airport. After they had introduced themselves, they headed toward the baggage claim. As they walked down the concourse, Ralph kept disappearing. Once to help an older woman whose suitcase had fallen open; once to lift two toddlers up to where they could see Santa Claus; again to give directions to someone who was lost. Each time he came back with a smile on his face.

"Where did you learn to be like that?" the professor asked. "Oh," Ralph said, "during the war, I guess."

He then told the professor about his tour of duty in Vietnam, how it was his
job to clear mine fields and how he watched his friends die right before his eyes,
one after another. "I learned to live between steps," he said. "I never knew whether the next one would be my last, so I learned to get everything I could out of the moment between when I picked up my foot and when I put it down again. Every step I took was a whole new world, and I guess I've been that way ever since."

*******************************

I’d like to close with the following excerpt from an article written by a fellow writer and new friend of mine, Tom Parker from Blue Rapids, Kansas. Tom is a gifted writer whose weekly column, “The Way Home” is published in the Washington County News. Thanks to Tom for giving me permission to share it with you.

“. . . I’ve reached that age where I understand life is finite, that it can be taken away in the next breath, and the realization is less disturbing than it is enriching. That we cannot see far down our trail is our good fortune, for the journey itself is the important thing. We can examine our lives and look back over our past and try to peer into the future but it’s the step by step by step that gets us nearer to our destination, the placing one foot before the other and the locomotion thereof.

We stand in the gateway, cast one last look behind, shoulder our packs and pass through. The old behind us, the new ahead, and us unapprised of what tidings it brings. The trail goes on.”
~ Tom Parker


“Whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.” ~ James 4:14