This weekend two of our four sons will be celebrating major milestones and setting sail on two adventurous life journeys. Our second son, Joshua Jim, will be graduating from medical school, and our youngest son, Kirk Van, will be graduating from high school. We are so proud of their accomplishments, as any parents would be, and our hearts overflow with hopes and prayers for their continued success.
Several years ago, Michael Ryan from the Topeka Capital-Journal editorial board wrote an inspiring message for graduates which he permitted me to share. He wrote in part about the pursuit of happiness:
“The late Dr. Viktor Frankl, a concentration camp survivor and world-renowned psychiatrist, suggested that . . . you [should] pursue the types of things that bring lasting happiness, and then just let it ensue.
What are those things? Well, one is simply to give yourself over to a cause that transcends yourself. It is one of life's most intriguing ironies that the happiest people in the world seem to be those who think about themselves the least.
Another route to happiness is simply doing the right thing. They may not have made this point as clear as you'd like in school, either: Doing the right thing will be the most difficult thing you ever do.
It sounds bizarre, doesn't it? You would think that doing the right thing would come easily. But it's the hardest thing of all. It means self-sacrifice -- perhaps even giving up your life for someone else. It means eschewing self-gratification -- and that never feels good.
Perhaps more surprisingly, doing the right thing means standing up to an occasional storm of criticism. Oddly enough, often it follows that doing the right thing will make you controversial, even hated. Standing up for the right thing often puts you in the way of what others want. And they will do whatever it takes to move you aside.
How do you know what is right? We most often do, although we like to fool ourselves into thinking we don't. And at those times you really don't know, you take your best shot based upon what you believe. And you hope for the best.
Hope for the best. Now, isn't that what graduation is all about?”
******************
In his book titled Simple Truths, author Kent Nerburn encourages the reader to think of work as a vocation, which comes from the Latin word for calling – something that calls to you, that gives voice to who you are and what you want to say in the world. He suggests that we should really consider the job we do and see if it is how we want to spend our time. “If it is not,” he writes, “your job will become your prison rather than the vehicle of your dreams. And a person without dreams is only half alive. . . .Find what it is that burns in your heart and do it. Choose a vocation, not a job, and your life will have meaning and your days will have peace.”
******************
When I contacted the author of this next poem about permission to republish, she wrote: “How very sweet of you to honor my work in this way. Yes, of course you may print it, and I hope it is a source of comfort to those whom it will reach.”
Sandra Sturtz Hauss wrote this poem in 1982 for her son, but I believe every parent will relate to the sentiments she shares. I know it definitely captured the essence of my heart’s desire for my children.
My Wishes For You
By Sandra Sturtz Hauss
May you find serenity and tranquility
in a world you may not always understand.
May the pain you have known
and the conflict you have experienced
give you the strength to walk through life
facing each new situation with courage and optimism.
Always know that there are those
whose love and understanding will always be there,
even when you feel most alone.
May a kind word, a reassuring touch, and a warm smile
be yours every day of your life,
and may you give these gifts
as well as receive them.
May the teachings of those you admire
become part of you,
so that you may call upon them.
Remember, those whose lives you have touched
and who have touched yours
are always a part of you,
even if the encounters were less than you would have wished.
It is the content of the encounter
that is more important than its form.
May you not become too concerned with material matters,
but instead place immeasurable value
on the goodness in your heart.
Find time in each day to see beauty and love
in the world around you.
Realize that what you feel you lack in one regard
you may be more than compensated for in another.
What you feel you lack in the present
may become one of your strengths in the future.
May you see your future as one filled with promise and possibility.
Learn to view everything as a worthwhile experience.
May you find enough inner strength
to determine your own worth by yourself,
and not be dependent on
another's judgment of your accomplishments.
May you always feel loved.
************
Finally, this is a poem I wrote four years ago when Josh was getting ready to graduate from Kansas State University in May, get married to Lisa Marie Kaus in July, and enter medical school at the University of Kansas in August.
Just Yesterday
By Eileen Umbehr
Our second-born son just turned twenty-two
Could that be possible? Could that be true?
Didn’t he just, learn how to walk?
Didn’t he just, learn how to talk?
Wasn’t he just in his pre-school play?
Wasn’t that just yesterday?
Didn’t he just, lose his front tooth?
Didn’t he just make friends, with Travis Guth?
Didn’t he just celebrate his 8th birthday?
Wasn’t that just yesterday?
Didn’t he just learn how to ride a bike?
Didn’t his dad and brothers just build their own kite?
Didn’t he just get his license last May?
Wasn’t that just yesterday?
Now he’s graduating from college and off to med school
And in July he’ll marry his precious jewel
Didn’t we just bring him home from the hospital that day?
Wasn’t that just yesterday?
Congratulations and God’s blessings to Josh, Kirk, and all the area graduates and their parents!
Eileen with Josh (age 6 months)
Eileen with Kirk (age 10 months)
