A brief candle; both ends burning
An endless mile; a bus wheel turning
A friend to share the lonesome times
A handshake and a sip of wine
So say it loud and let it ring
We are all a part of everything
The future, present and the past
Fly on proud bird
You're free at last.
Written by Charlie Daniels for his friend, Ronnie Van Zant of the band, Lynyrd Skynyrd.
Since Patricia passed away, several people have had vivid dreams about her. In one case, Patricia’s friend Roxy saw Patricia smiling and waving. “C’mon! C’mon!” she exclaimed enthusiastically. (Roxy said that made her a little nervous!)
Martha wrote to me about the following dream her partner Jenifer had:
“It’s a party and Patricia is there with all her friends. She is dead, but just the same there and enjoying being with her dear ones. She looks radiantly happy. She and Jen talk – no one else can see her (it is, after all, Jenifer’s dream); she tells Jenifer that everything is wonderful. Jenifer asks if she knows the meaning and purpose of life now. Patricia laughs that wonderful Patricia laugh and says, “Oh, I can’t tell you that!” Jenifer replies that she doesn’t want her to tell her what the meaning and purpose of life is, just if Patricia knows what it is, and with another laugh she says, “Well, of course!” I like to remember the story, hear that laugh in my heart, and choose to believe that she is radiantly happy and watching over us and right here with us when we need her.”
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Earlier this month Nikki had an unusual experience which she has permitted me to share:
“Tonight I lit the huge purple candle that I'm lighting every night this month and talked with God. Mostly expressing my thanks for all the gifts I have received in my life and for the people who have touched my heart in countless ways. Then I asked God to take care of those who could use an extra dose of love, care, and compassion. And so, I believe all is in God's hands and heart.
Then as I was talking to God I shifted and started to talk to Patricia – telling her what was in my heart and thanking her for sharing with me the best 15 years of my life. I told her I
never came close to knowing an angel until I met her. Then I started to wonder and began asking some basic questions, (earthly ones of course), in hopes that I might gain some insight into the mystery of what's in the great beyond.
In my wonderings I asked how she was and who she's hanging out with, like her mother, grandmother, God, other Angels....... Next, I asked her if she had a job and what kind of job it was.
Then a huge glow came from my heart and landed on my face as I saw for an instant Patricia teaching other angels how to line dance and two-step. I laughed with great delight and was full of joy. Of course as I was trying to make sense of what I glimpsed, I wondered how Angels, who are known to be light on their feet, could stomp to the music, and if they had halos or wings, if it interfered with the dancing. I know this sounds silly but it's the first time I laughed this hard with so much joy in my heart in a very long time. I suppose Angels might need to take time off to have some fun. (Another earthly thought.)
Patricia loved to dance and she glowed when she was on the dance floor. Maybe the next time I have a glimpse I'll see her ice skating with angels too. These were two of her favorite things to do.
Sending this to you with much love. I hope you enjoy the vision of Patricia dancing with Angels as much as I did.
You are in my heart and prayers.
Love,
Nikki
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After reading last week’s column, Patricia’s dear friend Caroline emailed me the following response: (Thanks for allowing me to share this, Caroline.)
Dear Eileen,
First, I absolutely loved your poem and the pictures and all the stories about Patricia, friends, and family. Tears. Good tears.
You know I have to say, I don't miss Patricia every day now. Just most days. A few weeks ago I was cleaning out some things in my room and I ran across her handwriting and then some pictures and then a couple cards. I was smiling and remembering and all of a sudden out of what seemed like nowhere I was flooded, absolutely flooded with tears of grief. It was profound and deep. Odd how that happens. Amazing, too. A gift of sorts. I wanted to call Nikki, but I didn't want to take her to where I was, but when the tears wouldn't stop I just had to call her. She was busy painting the house, but she took the time to listen. And she cried, too, and she was so glad that I called. I could feel it. I think sometimes she (and probably you and your sisters, especially) think that maybe some of us have forgotten. At the same time, I'm sure you know we haven't.
That's all. Thank you so much for sharing your life and your heart with us. We are all blessed for the presence of each other in our lives.
With love,
Caroline
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In closing, I would once again like to share this poignant quote, compliments of my friend Tom Parker, the deepest thinker and greatest writer I know. Tom is the author of Dispatches From Kansas (available at Amazon.com). He also writes a weekly newspaper column which he posts on his blog at http://dispatchesfromkansas.blogspot.com.
“. . . I’ve reached that age where I understand life is finite, that it can be taken away in the next breath, and the realization is less disturbing than it is enriching. That we cannot see far down our trail is our good fortune, for the journey itself is the important thing. We can examine our lives and look back over our past and try to peer into the future but it¹s the step by step by step that gets us nearer to our destination, the placing one foot before the other and the locomotion thereof.
We stand in the gateway, cast one last look behind, shoulder our packs and pass through. The old behind us, the new ahead, and us unapprised of what tidings it brings. The trail goes on. . .”
Patricia and Nikki on Patricia's 54th birthday, 2004, four months before her death
