“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
~ Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)
This is the day, the week, the month that my friend’s 25-year marriage comes to a final end. Her husband says it has been dead, or at least dying, for over a decade. She knew it wasn’t perfect, but then again, what marriage is? When the marriage became sick, he began making his exit plan; she simply hoped for brighter days. He decided to stay until the children were grown, as if there is ever a “good” time to break up a family.
What ever happened to: “For better or for worse, in sickness and in health . . . until death do us part?”
I know I sound like a contradiction. In some cases, where there is abuse or infidelity, the damage is irreparable and I just want to scream, “You deserve better than that! What are you waiting for?” But in cases like my friend’s, where they are both good people who just lacked the communication necessary to work out the parts of their marriage that weren’t ideal, my heart grieves.
Marriage, like anything in life (plants, pets, cars), can and will die as a result of neglect. So take care of yourself, and each other. You brought children into this world, and as a result, you will always be a part of each others’ lives. Doesn’t it just make sense to work through your problems with the mother or father of your children? As Joyce Meyer always says: “The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but you’ll have to mow that grass, too.”
I Don't Want Her Hurting
By Connie Hinnen Cook
(Used by permission)
I don't want her hurting, Jesus,
She's so all alone,
The husband that she loves moved out,
Her kids are "long gone grown."
She's given them her all, dear Lord,
She did the things she should,
And though the road was often rough
She did the best she could.
For three long decades and a half
She was a faithful wife,
She let him have the spotlight, Lord,
He was her world, her life.
And though they've been divorced for years
He still rules in her brain,
She says he's her obsession,
As addictive as cocaine.
His girlfriend is much younger
And he seems so happy now,
The family get-togethers
Are endurance tests somehow.
They sit so close together
With her hand upon his knee,
Their passion is so obvious
For all the world to see.
The hours pass like molasses
And there's always time to cry,
She knows she should get on with life
But has no heart to try.
A funeral without a corpse
That had no wish to die,
I tell her she should turn to You
Yet can't convince her why.
Grant her the peace that comes from You
that money cannot buy ~
'Cause I don't want her hurting, Jesus. . .
"Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth
Will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace."
Song: "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" by Helen Howarth Lemmel
“We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon You.”
~ II Chronicles 20:12b (Amp)
Note: For all of you who have gone through a divorce for any reason - whether it was out of necessity or whether it happened against your will, I just want to tell you how sorry I am for your pain. I know that a divorce is heartbreaking, regardless of the circumstances. It is, without a doubt, the death of a dream. God bless you all and keep looking up. ~ With love, eileen