I would like to dedicate this column to my very special sister, Connie, who will be celebrating her birthday on June 9th.
I chose the above verse this week because it describes Connie so well. To me, Connie is the very essence of grace. She is full of “tenderhearted pity and mercy, kind feeling, gentle ways and patience.” She is also “tireless, long-suffering, and has the power to endure whatever comes.” In other words, Connie is “all of the above.”
When our sister Patricia passed away I wrote a poem about our family, listing each sibling by name along with their special quality. In that poem, I described Connie as “the sweetest soul” that ever lived. Even though she quickly dismissed this notion as thought it didn’t apply to her, I still stand by it. Connie is soft-spoken and mild-mannered. She exudes God’s love and peace to such a degree that it is almost tangible – so much so that at times I have not felt deserving to even stand in her presence.
I have often told Connie that I think she is the most spiritual one of us all. However, she did not always walk the straight and narrow. After going through a rebellious period during her youth, Connie found the Lord and now she is a living testimony to what God can do if we will simply invite Him into our life. I remember when I was a teenager I saw a handmade card that Connie had given to our parents. On the front of the card she wrote: “I have returned to the God of my fathers.” And she’s never looked back since.
The Bible says that you can tell a tree by its fruit and it also talks about the fruits of the Spirit being “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22,23) You don’t have to spend very much time with Connie before you can see that these fruits of the Spirit are clearly evident in her life.
When Connie was younger, she would dress up in a Santa costume every Christmas Eve, complete with cotton eyebrows, moustache and beard. Then she would sneak away from the festivities when none of the younger kids were looking, put on her costume and walk across our front yard shouting “Ho, Ho, Ho! Me-r-r-r-r-r-y Christmas!” in the lowest voice she could muster. We all watched in utter amazement as “Santa” passed by the picture window carrying a sack of goodies. Then one by one we would sit on Santa’s lap and describe all the items on our wish list.
"Santa Connie" with Eileen, Bill & Mary
Another Christmas Eve tradition in the Van Kirk family was putting on original skits. One of the annual favorites was a skit performed by Connie and Joanne where Connie would dress up as a shepherd and lie down on the ground pretending to be fast asleep. Then Joanne would sing the chorus to this song: “Rise up shepherd and follow. Follow, follow.” But Connie (the shepherd) would just keep snoring and didn’t budge. Then Joanne would act like she was agitated while she desperately tried to maintain her composure and continued to sing “Rise up shepherd and follow” through gritted teeth. No matter how many times we saw that skit, it was still funny. (I guess you had to be there.)
Connie is also the one we credit for our parents having one more baby (Bob) after child number eight (Bill), because she reportedly prayed fervently that Mom would have another baby. Then when Bob was old enough to ride in a bike seat, Connie would often take him with her on outings around town, along with another friend who also had a younger sibling.
Eventually Connie got married to her husband, Art, and had three little babies of her own: Naomi (who has a 5-year old daughter, Kelsey Constance), Peggy, and Zachery. Connie was a homemaker and stay-at-home mom until a few years ago when she embarked on a challenging journey to become a registered nurse. Connie achieved her goal with flying colors, and now lends her gentle spirit to patients in hospice care.
Dad & Connie on Connie's Graduation Day
But those of us who had the privilege of growing up with Connie have long benefited from the many gifts and talents that she possesses. We have been blessed by a sister who is full of compassion and understanding and who is always there to lend an ear or an encouraging word. I recall one time when I was going through a difficult struggle and Connie gently admonished me to “cast my care on the Lord.” Although I knew she was right, I must confess that I wanted to strangle her. Yes, sweet souls and truly spiritual people can be downright annoying at times. But seriously, Connie is a gift from God and we are all so thankful to call her our sister and our friend.
This complete version of the Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr seems to sum up Connie’s whole approach to life:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it,
Trusting that you will make all things right, if I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen
Finally, I’d like to share an excerpt from the Hallmark card I sent to Connie for her birthday:
“I wish you . . . beauty to enrapture your soul
And goodness to comfort your spirit.
And I wish you harmony with all creation
So that wherever you go, you will be at home in the world
I wish you these things not only because it is your birthday
But because you are my sister
And you are worthy of every good thing my heart can hope for you.”
You are loved.
"The Sweetest Soul" - Connie in 2004
