One More Day

“…do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
~ Ephesians 6:4

I watched him take the two-strike call:
He hadn't tried to swing at all.
I guess he'd had all he could take,
He walked away, for goodness sake.
His father's voice was loud and mean:
"You won't amount to anything."

That little boy quit tryin',
He just walked away.
There were teardrops on his face.

Tell me, how would you feel?
You'd probably give up too,
If nobody believed in you.

”If Nobody Believed in You” ~ recorded by Joe Nichols

***********
“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
~ Proverbs 12:18

Love at Home (Author Unknown)

I ran into a stranger, as he passed by,
"Oh excuse me, please" was my reply.

He said, "Please excuse me, too;
I wasn't watching out for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and said good-bye.

But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.

I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the children you love,
you seem to abuse.

Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."

By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled and said, "I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I still love you anyway."
I said, "Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."


“A gentle tongue [with its healing power] is a tree of life, but willful contrariness in it breaks down the spirit.” ~ Proverbs 15:4

************
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up…that it may benefit those who listen.” ~ Ephesians 4:29

HEARTPRINTS
Author Unknown

Whatever our hands touch---
We leave fingerprints!
On walls, on furniture,
On doorknobs, dishes, books,
As we touch we leave our identity.

Oh please, wherever I go today,
Help me leave heartprints!
Heartprints of compassion
Of understanding and love.
Heartprints of kindness
and genuine concern.

May my heart touch a lonely neighbor
Or a runaway daughter,
Or an anxious mother,
Or, perhaps, a dear friend!

I shall go out today
To leave heartprints,
And if someone should say
"I felt your touch,"
May that one sense be...YOUR LOVE
Touching them through me.

“Clearly, you are a letter from Christ…written not with pen and ink, but with the Spirit of the living God. It is carved not on stone, but on human hearts.”
~ II Corinthians 3:3

************

“At your age, I know I was caught up in raising my family – thinking of a million things. I wish now that I had spent just a wee bit more time taking time to stop to smell the roses. But I was more like a runner, grasping for air, in a frenzy to have perfect kids, a perfect house, etc… Oh to go back, even if for only a day!”
~ Letter from my friend, Marian Umscheid ~ April, 1995


TO MY CHILD
Author unknown

Just for this morning, I am going to smile when I see your face
and laugh when I feel like crying.


Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to
wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.

Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and
pick you up and take you to the park to play.

Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and
let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.
Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the
computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny
grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck,
and I will buy you one if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going
to be when you grow up, or second-guess every decision I have made
where you are concerned.

Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and
I won't stand over you trying to fix them.

Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy us
both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.


Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a
story about how you were born and how much I love you.

Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not
get angry.

Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit
on the porch and count all the stars.

Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and
miss my favorite TV shows.

Just for this evening when I run my fingers through your hair as
you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the
greatest gift ever given.

And I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for
their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting
their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and the mothers and
fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer endlessly –

screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore.

Yes, my child, when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter,
a little longer. It is then that I will thank God for you and ask Him for nothing…
except one more day.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone ~ Eileen Beautiful web page

Pressing On

“And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward…”
~ Colossians 3:23,24a (NKJV)

Well, I have to admit that I’ve been dreading writing this column updating everyone about the progress of my book. Let me just say that telling someone (or lots of someone’s) that you’re writing a book is like announcing to the world that you’re going on a diet. I can hear the tap, tap, tap of the feet, feet, feet. “Hmmm. She doesn’t look any thinner to me.” “I thought she went to Nevada to write her book. Now she’s back and still no book.”

“I am as a wonder and surprise to many, but You are my strong refuge.”
~ Psalm 70:7

I know, I probably sound like the girl who cried wolf, but in my defense, it’s a complex process and I’ve never done anything like this before, so I’m learning as I go. But honestly, I’m still plugging away at it.

Just days before I wrapped things up in Nevada and was preparing to go home, I had a near crisis when my brand new computer crashed and could not be repaired. Thank God, I had just backed up my book onto a CD and mailed it to myself back in Alma.

Computers are great, but I don’t trust them any further than I can throw them. Anyway, I only lost a few pages and at that point, I felt that the rough draft was about 90% complete. Now, I’m not so sure.

“Starting a book is like taking a slow trot through the woods. Then it becomes one of the most arduous journeys of your life." ~ Author Jan Karon

After returning to Alma, I spent several weeks getting settled and the next thing I knew, I was back on the housewife track, getting distracted by all kinds of domestic duties – which only confirmed the fact that I cannot write at home.

"Working towards a goal is like taking a journey. Every side trip you take which runs perpendicular to your destination only delays your arrival." ~ Keen

A few weeks ago I attended the Kansas Author’s Club convention in Topeka (it’s for anyone who enjoys writing – not just published authors), and listened to a talk by children’s author, Jane Kurtz. Jane shared about the time her house was completely flooded and her family had to move into a FEMA trailer while their home was being renovated. She pointed out the fact that she had continued to write while living in temporary housing with several small children at home. Immediately, my brain short-circuited, because I can’t seem to focus on writing even when my house has been completely vacated. No matter. All writers have their quirks and this is mine. I need to leave my house to write!

"Consider well the path of your feet, and let all your ways be established and ordered aright. Turn not aside to the right hand or to the left…"
~ Proverbs 4:26,27

So my solution during this phase of the project has been to pack my bags once again – but this time I’m only straying 30 miles from home to the house we own in Manhattan. None of our college-aged children are using it right now, so it has proven to be an ideal writing studio. It’s exciting to be making progress towards my goal once again – even though things are still moving slower than I’d like.

For the last couple of weeks I’ve been pouring through boxes and boxes of records and three-ring binders containing every scrap of correspondence from our lawsuit. There are more legal twists and turns in this story than I can keep up with. Just when I think I’ve recorded every detail known to man, I make another archaeological find and unearth an additional piece of the puzzle.

But this week was a tough one for me in the writing department. I keep reminding myself of the pearls of wisdom my sister Joanne gave me several months ago. “Keep breathing; keep moving; keep writing – you’re going to make it!”

Here’s an email I sent to a writer friend from California, Mike Stein, describing my predicament:

“…I'm struggling right now. I remember you told me to go to a movie or go for a walk when I get writer's block, but I feel like I have such a long, long way to go, so I want to stay on it until I get it done. I don't want to waste any time. What's making it hard is that it's emotional for me to continue to relive everything we went through. It was just one battle after another - we fended off attack after attack. I don't like stirring up all those painful memories. But I know I have to tell our story and I've come too far to turn back….”

(Here’s some examples of quotes that brought back those memories.)

"We are in the heat of the battle. We celebrate Christmas by clinking our tin cans together. They're full of water, but we make believe it's wine and go right back to the war. Everyone else celebrates with a turkey, a tree and presents. They are worlds apart from us and the way we live." ~ Keen, June, 1990 "This morning when I woke up I thought this would be the day I wasn't going to make it. As much as you want to get up, you can't. It's not like other times; it's just not there. You're walking on thin air." ~ Keen, July, 1995

Tonight Keen was talking about how he treasures our walks and the times we’ve danced on the patio. Then I said, “But you know what’s sad? There would have been so much more of that if there had only been less of this (the lawsuit).”

Keen replied, “But would it have been as sweet? If we’d never climbed the mountains, would we appreciate the plains?”
~ September, 1996, after the lawsuit was settled

Mike’s response to my e-mail: “…Keep at it. That's only course you can take if you want a finished book. Two suggestions: l. Steel yourself to be dispassionate. Get in a frame of mind where you are writing about somebody else. 2. Relive the ordeal by discussing it with Keen or anybody else involved. This also may help you dredge up facts you may have forgotten…Don't suppress anything. YOU'RE A WRITER! Recently, I read a New Yorker article about Thomas Carlyle, the Englishman, who wrote the massive volume, THE HISTORY OF THE FRENCH REVOLUTION. After finishing the manuscript after years of labor, he gave it to a literary friend for comment. The friend’s housekeeper, mistaking it for a pile of trash, tossed it into the fireplace, where it was destroyed. This was l835 and no copies could have been made. Carlyle was heartbroken and lapsed into a fit of depression, declaring to himself that he could never rewrite the book. But he did, forcing himself to take pen in hand again. He believed in the book and that it must be published. I know you believe in your book. So take a leaf from Carlyle.”
My response:

“And to think I was going to "un-send" my letter to you. Just hit a low point. But I'm glad I didn't. Thanks for the sound advice. You can be sure I'll be reading it over and over. The comment about being dispassionate was interesting. I feel like that's what I've had to do to write this more historical version of our story. You know me – I like the tear-jerking stuff. I always wanted to write "the personal side of an extended legal battle" based on my journals. But I guess I told you it turned out to be too much to put into one book. So this is more of the documentary version based on court documents/transcripts, letters to and from attorneys and newspaper accounts. I really had to take myself out of it in order to maintain my objectivity. I really appreciated the story about Carlyle. If he could start completely over, then I can finish what I've started.” “For a dream comes with much business and painful effort…”
~ Ecclesiastes 5:3a (Amp)

In my office in Carson City, NV

Welcome Home

“Then he said unto him, Come home with me…”
~ I Kings 13:15 (KJV)

With great anticipation he waited at the door His only son was due from overseas For months now he'd been waitin' since he'd gone off to war And his eyes were filled with tears of great relief

Welcome home, son His loving arms held open and his heart so full of love Welcome home, son I've been praying and been hoping and I never did give up I knew that you'd return to me The place where you were meant to be Rest now, for you've been gone too long I heard him say as they embraced "I've waited so long for this day My son, my very own...Welcome home"
Welcome Home ~ recorded by Dolly Parton

There was an interesting article by Karen Ann Bland in this month’s edition of Kansas Country Living. Ms. Rand reported on the dedication ceremony of the Kansas Veterans’ Cemetery in WaKeeney, Kansas – one of four such cemeteries being built across the state to provide burial grounds for veterans and their families.

U.S. Rep. Jerry Moran spoke to more than 300 people who attended the ceremony and challenged them to ask themselves on Veterans Day, “Are our reasons for living as great as theirs were for dying?” Rep. Moran went on to talk about his trip to France earlier this year for the 60th anniversary of the Normandy invasion and D-Day. “I stood on the sands of the Normandy beaches; saw the waves lapping on the shore, the cliffs ahead. I tried to imagine what it must have been like for those young men, so many years ago, to disembark from their ships and charge out across the sand. For those who saw the dream, today we see the reality.”

I’d like to dedicate this column to all the veterans who sacrificed so much for the cause of freedom in America. I’d also like to pay tribute to the members of my own family who have served in the Armed Forces. My father, Joseph Van Kirk, who fought in World War II, my brother-in-law, Art Reese who fought in Viet Nam (both with the United States Army) and our son, Jared Joseph, who enlisted in the Navy after 9-11. Jared is in Special Forces and is currently serving in Southeast Asia.

This son
(For Jared)

We thought that we would wait
But God had other plans instead
Born eleven months to the day
From the day that we were wed

This son

Pure joy from the start
A bundle of love
Making us laugh
Giving us hugs

This son

Welcoming your brothers
One, two and three
Always the peacemaker
When they’d disagree

This son

Amazed by your wisdom
And your sense of fairness, too
We marveled at the gifts
God had bestowed on you

This son

Thinking of others
Your number one trait
The perfect ingredients
For father and mate

This son

September 11th
Shook the country to its core
You never hesitated a moment
To answer the call to war

This son

How can we describe
How proud we are of you
Of everything you stand for
And everything you do

This son

Now that you’re overseas
This is my constant prayer
“Lord, please keep this son of ours
Ever in Your care.”

Amen.

Welcome Home
Author Unknown

I sat in my seat of the Boeing 767 waiting for everyone to hurry and stow their carry-ons and grab a seat so we could start what I was sure would be a long, uneventful flight home. With the huge capacity and slow-moving people taking their time to stuff luggage far too big for the overhead and never paying much attention to holding up the growing line behind them, I simply shook my head. This flight was not starting out very well.

I was anxious to get home to see my loved ones so I was focused on "my" issues and just felt like standing up and yelling at these clowns to get their act together. I knew I couldn't say a word so I just thumbed through the "Sky Mall" magazine from the seat pocket in front of me.

With everyone finally seated, we just waited and waited with the cabin door open and no one in any hurry to get us going – even though we were well past the scheduled take off time. No wonder the airline industry is in trouble, I told myself. Just then, the attendant came on the intercom to inform us all that we were being delayed. The entire plane let out a collective groan. She continued speaking. "We are holding the aircraft for some very special people who are on their way to the plane. The delay shouldn't be more than 5 minutes.”

The word came after we had already waited six times as long to finally be on our way home. Who were these “special people?” Why all the hoopla over these folks? I was expecting some celebrity or sport figure to be the reason for the hold up.....Just get their butts in a seat and let’s hit the gas, I thought.

The attendant came back on the speaker to announce in a loud and excited voice that we were being joined by several U. S. Marines returning home from Iraq. Just as they walked on board, the entire plane erupted into applause. The men were taken by surprise by the 340 people cheering for them as they searched for their seats. Everyone within an arm's distance of them shook their hands or touched them as they passed down the aisle. One elderly woman kissed the hand of one of the Marines as he passed by. The applause, whistles and cheering didn't stop for a long time.

When we were finally airborne, I was not the only civilian checking his conscience about the way I had reacted to the delays in getting “me” home to my family, my easy chair, a cold beverage and the remote control. These men had sacrificed so much for all of us and I had been complaining silently about me and my issues. I took for granted the everyday freedoms I enjoy and the conveniences of the American way of life. I took for granted the price that had been paid by those heroes who were going home to their loved ones.

I attempted to get my selfish outlook back in order. Minutes before we landed I got the attendant’s attention and suggested that she ask everyone to remain in their seats until our heroes were allowed to gather their things and be the first off the plane. The cheers and applause continued until the last Marine stepped off the plane.

I felt proud of them. It was an honor and a privilege to be among the first to welcome them home and to say “Thank you for a job well done.”

I vowed that I will never forget that flight nor the lessons learned. I can't say it enough, THANK YOU to those Veterans and active servicemen and women who may read this.

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

I hope to hear God sayin’
when it's my time to go Welcome home While the angel band is playin'
and God comes to claim my soul The angels will be singing
and joy bells will be ringing Rejoicing, I'll shout and sing along
When there are no more wars to fight And we're all children of the light When the Father and the Son say "Welcome home!"

Welcome Home ~ recorded by Dolly Parton



Official Veterans Day poster for 2004

Still the One

“But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.”
~ Colossians 3:14

Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We might of took the long way
we knew we'd get there someday

They said, I bet, they'll never make it
but just look at us holding on
were still together, still going strong

You're still the one I run to
the one that I belong to
you're still the one I want for life
You're still the one that I love
the only one I dream of
You’re still the one I kiss goodnight

You’re still the one ~ Recorded by Shania Twain

Someone sent me the following list in an email.

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house.2. It is important that a man makes you laugh. 3. It is important to find a man you can count on. 4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

Of course this is a joke that implies there is no such man living on Planet Earth. But I’m here to say that I married someone who has all those attributes and more. I’d like to dedicate this column to my one-in-a-million husband who will be turning 46 on November 8. Happy Birthday, Keen!

A Real Find
By Eileen Umbehr
For Keen on our 21st anniversary - June 10, 1999

I was shopping for a gift,
for my husband, dear;
something to commemorate,
our marriage of twenty-one years.

I thought that I would buy him,
a tie tack for the occasion,
and so I headed for the mall,
to fulfill my expectation.

I found so many different styles,
some were fancy, others plain,
and it wasn't very long before,
my patience started to wane.

But finally I narrowed my search,
down to two that looked real nice;
the only difference between them,
was, of course, the price!

In my mind I debated the issue,
back and forth I went,
trying to decide which one to buy,
for this blessed event.

Suddenly, it all became clear,
like a light bulb going off in my head;
so I pointed to the more precious one,
and this is what I said.

My husband is a real gem,
truly, I do not jest;
for he's one in a million,
who deserves the very best.

Thus, the choice is simple,
this fine tie tack is now sold;
for my husband's not a gold-plated guy,
he's 14-karat gold!

Now, here we are, five years later....still in love and still writing love notes. Here’s one I received just last week while I was working on my book at our house in Manhattan.

Eileen:

Its 10:40 p.m. and I have competed the writing project. Now, I am missing you so much. It just came over me all at once and made me so sad. I want you to know that I am what I am because of you. Never a day goes by that I think that I could survive without you. I love you.I can't wait to see you tomorrow.Love,Keen

Twice as much
By Eileen Umbehr

26 years of I love you’s
26 years of I love you, too’s

26 years of feeling blessed
26 years of passing time’s test

So many memories
Shared by us two
I could write a book
About this love so true

Just the other night,
after saying our prayers,
Something he said,
brought me to tears

First I said good night
and “I love you so much”
Then he softly replied,
“I love you twice as much as so much.”

26 years of I love you’s
26 years of I love you, too’s

26 years of feeling blessed
26 years of passing time’s test


How do I love thee? Let me count the ways....
I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears, of all my life!And, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death. ~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning

That's Politics

“When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; but when the wicked rule, the people groan.”
~ Proverbs 29:2

POLITICS
By Eileen Umbehr

Politics is a messy business. It is not for the weak at
heart. The public is a fickle friend. One must prepare to
be alternately stabbed in the back and patted on it. It is
not a reflection on you as a person. Americans have always
had a love-hate relationship with their elected officials.
One minute you can do no wrong and the next minute, the
opposite is true.

A politician cannot depend on a select group of loyal
followers, for that group, like the tide, is constantly
changing. One must not be affected by the ups and downs of
public opinion. Prepare yourself to be gently drawn in and
treated like royalty one moment, and cast off like an old
shoe the next.

That's politics.

***********************

Since I’m short on time this week, I’d just like to share a few political quotes I’ve collected over the years.

May the best candidates win!

***********************

”Why pay money to have your family tree traced? Get into politics and your opponents will surely do it for you.” ~ Author unknown

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."
- Galileo Galilei

"Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects." ~ Lester B. Pearson (1897-1972 ) Prime Minister of Canada"Those in power need checks and restraints lest they come to identify thecommon good for their own tastes and desires, and their continuation inoffice as essential to the preservation of the nation." ~ William O. Douglas, (1898-1980), U. S. Supreme Court Justice

"That government is best which governs least." ~ Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

"I once said cynically of a politician, ‘He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.'" ~ Oscar Levant (1906-1972)"The more you read and observe about this Politics thing,you got to admit that each party is worse than the other…”~ Will Rogers (1879-1935) American humorist

"Being in politics is like being a football coach.You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important." ~ Eugene McCarthy US Congressman & U.S. Senator (D-Minnesota)

In an article published in the April 26, 2004 edition of The Topeka Capital-Journal, staff writer Ric Anderson reported that Rev. Fred Hollomon (Kansas State Chaplain for the past 23 years) has presented more than 1,100 invocations since 1979.

I’d like to close with this sample prayer from Rev. Hollomon.

“Lord, help us to know who’s telling the truth. One side says one thing and the other says just the opposite. If both sides are telling the truth or neither side is telling the truth, we’d like to know that. And if each side is telling half the truth, give us the wisdom to put the right halves together.”

A-MEN!

Out of Control

“And now…I commit you to God – that is, I deposit you in His charge, entrusting you to His protection and care…” ~ Acts 30:32

She sat alone on a bus out of Beaumont
The courage of just eighteen years
A penny and quarter were taped to a letter
And momma's goodbye in her ears
When you get lonely, call me Anytime at all

I'll be there with you, always
Anywhere at all
There's nothing I've got that I wouldn't give you
And money is never enough
Here's a penny for your thoughts
A quarter for the call
And all of your momma's love

26 Cents ~ recorded by The Wilkinson

Is there any job more difficult than being a parent? I’d like to know. Because either parenting is one of the greatest challenges you’ll ever face, or I’m just really bad at it.

I’m calling this column “Out of Control” in reference to the struggle I’m having with letting go of my youngest son, Kirk Van. Many tears were shed at my house this week, as Kirk found the courage to express his feelings on the subject. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for him to say and I know it wasn’t easy for me to hear. One of the things Kirk revealed during our conversation was that he felt like I was the driver in his car. Ouch.

You’d think by the time I got to son # 4 this would be old hat for me, but maybe that’s exactly why I’m having a more difficult time – because he’s my baby. But I have to realize that it’s not healthy for me to maintain a death grip on him in an attempt to control every aspect of his life. But somehow I have this notion that I’m not being a good mother if I don’t. I know in my head that it’s natural for kids (especially boys) to grow up and away from their mothers, but it feels very un-natural to my heart!

I was browsing through some of my old journals recently and I think I discovered the root of the problem. When my kids were little, it was my job to watch every move they made and to orchestrate every moment of their day from brushing their teeth and cleaning their rooms to telling them when it was time to do their homework or go to bed. It was a good thing back then, but those days are over now, and the transition can prove to be a difficult one. Case in point: I recall one of the boys tearfully explaining that he felt like he was old enough to pick out his own clothes. “It would be different if I was a baby like Kirk,” he said. “But I’m not a baby!”

So I’ve had to learn the hard way that if I continue to “mother hen” my child beyond the appropriate time, it will only create resentment and stunt his personal growth. As much as I like to be in control, the price is just too high. As a matter of fact, an alternate title for this week’s column was “Confessions of a Control Freak.” Just read the following memo I wrote to Josh when he was young and you’ll see what I mean.

Dear Josh,

This morning I found many items out of place in your room after you left for school. So many, in fact, that I was afraid I would forget them all if I didn't write them down. Here is the list of things that were out of order:

1. All drawers in your bureau were left open.
2. All drawers in your desk were left open.
3. Your wet towel was left on the floor.
4. Your pajama bottoms were left on your chair.
5. Your light was left on.
6. Your radio was left on.

I am happy to report that your bed was made. However, in the future, please see that you complete more than one out of seven morning duties before you leave for school. Okay? Okay!

I love you,
Mom

**********************

Now here’s an excerpt from a family newsletter I sent out in 1992 talking about a different approach:

“Recently I’ve incorporated a new system to encourage responsibility and discourage irresponsibility. I have a chart on the frig for responsibility credits. Jared, Josh and Keen are the only participating members right now. When they do something like dishes or vacuuming without being asked, then they earn some points. When they do something like put raw eggs in the bottom of their brother's new roller skates (true story), then they lose some points. I can't get over how effective it is! They count their points often and are literally fighting over who gets to put the laundry away. They gladly welcome any new chore since it’s an opportunity to earn more points. "Who wants to mow the lawn?" "I do! I do! Hey, I said it first!" The other day Keener said, "Now every day is like a clean up day." I can't keep them busy enough. Eventually, we'll tally up the scores and it will translate into “x” amount of dollars.”

**********************

Being a mother is all I every wanted to be. In fact, when my brother Bill was born just 16 months after me, my mom said I acted like I was his mother! She said I never gave him a moment’s peace – I just followed him around everywhere he went. Even then I thought it was my job to be the mother hen!

As my children got older, I’d say the hardest part about letting go was allowing them to make their own choices, even if I didn’t agree with them. I had to keep reminding myself that God didn’t put a barbed wire fence around the tree in the Garden of Eden. He just told Adam and Eve what they could and couldn’t eat and left the choice up to them. So if God relinquished His right to control His children and gave them a free will, then I guess I should follow His example by doing the same with mine.

Roots and Wings
By Eileen Umbehr

Some people say,
there are only two things,
that you can give your children,
one is roots; the other, wings.

They'll have their share of ups and downs,
at times the skies will be bleak,
but we must allow them to spread their wings,
even if they bump their beaks!

It's hard to know when to let them go,
some are ready sooner than others,
but no matter when that time comes,
it's always hard on their mothers!

But deep down in our heart of hearts,
we have always known,
we can't keep them with us forever,
one day they will be on their own.

And we really wouldn't want it,
any other way,
we have to allow them to fly and be free,
even though we wish they could stay.

So we'll raise our children
with faith, hope and love,
and a prayer that God will watch over them
From Heaven up above.

Then when the time arrives,
for them to leave the nest,
we'll wave good-bye with a tear in our eye,
knowing that we've been blessed.

I’d like to close with an analogy about letting go that my uncle, Tom Lynch shared with me many years ago. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

The analogy of the kite to child rearing is apropos. You receive a lovely kite. A kite’s destiny is fulfilled only when it flies. You must try to get it to fly.
You fashion a tail, to guide it, from your own experiences and the advice of more experienced kite flyers. The tail must be well done, not too inconsequential, not too burdensome – enough to keep it pointing in the right direction and to aid its flight. You may have to modify the tail a few times to get it right.
To control the pretty kite, you attach a string. You, as parents, hold onto the string and the kite, by turns. Alternately, you run with it to get it airborne and to keep it aloof. It begins to fly, albeit jerkily at first. You let out more string or take some in – thoughtfully, carefully. You judge the winds and urge your winsome kite to rise higher. It crashes a few times, hopefully not doing too much harm.

Eventually, your shining kite begins to go up, up and away, forever pulling as you let out more string. It is buffeted by the winds of fate; it twists and turns high in the sky. You are anxious. Do you let out more string or reel some in? You have many discussions as to what is best. The string is so tenuous the farther away the kite sails.

The kite tugs harder, increasingly. It wants to be on its own. Too soon (only a few years, really) it breaks the string and soars off alone. Your beautiful kite is free! Would you want otherwise? But it is heart wrenching.

As the years go by, you will often question yourselves about the kites you were entrusted with. Did we fly our kites well? Were our guiding principles worthy? Did we exercise enough control or too much?

It is the subject of much retrospection, between the kite flyers, as they grow old together.

I pray You'll be my eyesAnd watch her where she goesAnd help her to be wiseHelp me to let goEvery mother's prayerEvery child knowsLead her to a placeGuide her with Your graceTo a place where she'll be safe

A Mother’s Prayer ~ recorded by Celine Dion



Keen & the boys with homemade kite

Invisible Scars

“And this you do with double guilt; you cover the altar of the Lord with tears [shed by your unoffending wives, divorced by you that you might take heathen wives]…
Therefore take heed to yourselves, and let no one deal treacherously and be faithless to the wife of his youth.”
~ Malachi 2:13, 15b

Invisible Scars
By Eileen Umbehr

Invisible scars
No one sees
Don’t appear
Outwardly

Invisible scars
Internal pain
Lasting wounds
Love in vain

Invisible scars
Blows to the soul
Knives in the heart
No longer whole

Invisible scars
Though not seen
Invisible scars
Last eternally

Last Tuesday, the Oprah show dealt with the silent shame of emotional abuse. The show was based on an article that appears in a recent edition of O Magazine titled “She’s come undone” which featured Susan Weitzman, author of, Not to People Like Us”; Hidden Abuse in Upscale Marriages.

Ms. Weitzman stated that one out of three women live in a marriage where they are verbally abused and emotionally tortured. After years of being called unspeakable names and constantly being ridiculed, the victim eventually becomes fragmented. Many women think that if they don’t talk about the problem, then it will just go away.
Ms. Weitzman referred to these women as being “hooked on hope.”

When the woman does try to assert herself by telling her abuser how his verbal attacks make her feel, she is often called a “cry baby” and told that she should “toughen up” or “get a grip.” She may also be told she is too sensitive or even selfish. “It’s all about you, isn’t it?” is a common phrase used by abusive men.

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and it is exceedingly perverse and corrupt and severely, mortally sick! Who can know it…?

I, the Lord, search the mind, I try the heart, even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings.”
~ Jeremiah 17:9, 10

As most of you know, my sister Mary endured 25 years in an abusive marriage. Many years ago she opened up to me and described the vile names her ex-husband called her on a regular basis. When she told him that one particular name was especially painful, that was the name he called her even more often. When she made a mistake he would tell her she was an idiot. If something spilled in the refrigerator, he called her a slob. One time she gave him a piece of cheesecake with raspberry topping on it and he complained because he had asked for a “dollop” of topping and apparently Mary hadn’t put the “proper” amount on. “Don’t you know what a dollup is?” he asked, incredulously. Then he got up from his chair and fixed himself another piece of cheesecake. “Now that’s a dollup!” he explained. (Now, if that had been my husband, I think he would’ve been wearing that dollup.)

Another thing he used to do was sit in his easy chair and hold three or fingers in the air, indicating the number of freeze pops he wanted his daughter to bring him. One day she was busy and told him she would get them for him in a minute. He got so angry that he started counting down out loud, dropping one finger at a time until only the middle finger was left in the air.

On New Year’s Eve, 1999, Mary bought some nice steaks and crab legs for a special dinner to celebrate the millennium. Her husband was cooking the crab legs in the kitchen while she went outside to light the grill. Well, the grill didn’t light for one reason or another and Mary didn’t realize it until they sat down to eat and discovered the steaks weren’t done. Her ex-husband berated her for 45 minutes over that one innocent mistake. At first I thought she said he mocked her for “4 to 5 minutes” – which would have been bad enough – but she corrected me and said it was forty-five minutes. “How could you be so stupid? Our meal is ruined now – we might as well throw the crab legs down the drain!” he said. “You are so stupid! Even the kids could have gotten that right!” Mary was in tears. She said it felt like he was poking her repeatedly with ice picks. So don’t tell me that verbal abuse isn’t as bad as physical abuse.

One of the guests on Oprah’s show (whose husband called her “pathetic” and many other names that had to be bleeped out), said that sometimes she wished her husband would hit her so she’d have a reason to leave. She swore that she would never stay under those circumstances. Many men realize there would be serious consequences if they ever hit their wives, so they use words as their weapons of choice to inflict pain. Yet all too often these situations escalate from verbal abuse to physical violence. Either way, it’s all about control.

After this same man viewed a videotape showing the appalling way he treated his wife, he seemed completely shocked by his own behavior, as if he were watching a video of some total stranger. When Oprah asked him if he loved his wife he answered emphatically, “Yes, I do….very much.”

Well, I don’t care what anybody says – that’s not love.

Have you ever heard the expression, “Silver-tongued devil?” It’s used to describe men like this who could charm the skin off a snake when they’re out in public, but heaven help their wife and kids when they pull in the drive. Then, when the wife finally decides she’s not going to put up with it anymore and files for divorce, everyone is scratching their heads and wondering what’s wrong with her. The only side they’ve ever seen is the side he shows his adoring public. “He wouldn’t hurt a flea,” they say. Well maybe not, but behind closed doors he’ll devastate the one person he vowed to love, cherish and protect until death do them part.

Although these abusive men may fool a lot of people, they’re not fooling God. The Bible says that you can tell a tree by its fruit and “out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.”

“The good man from his inner good treasure flings forth good things, and the evil man out of his inner evil storehouse flings forth evil things. But I tell you, on the day of judgment men will have to give account for every idle…word they speak.” ~ Matthew 12:33-36

In other words: evil fruit – evil root.
Journalist and author Michele Weldon wrote a book titled I Closed My Eyes describing her experience as a battered woman. Unfortunately, many women choose to wear blinders and hang on to a fantasy, rather than dealing with the prospect of being divorced and alone, struggling to make ends meet and having their children come from a broken home.

Although I’ve never walked in their shoes, I have great compassion for women who are suffering from any type of abuse. I yearn to tell them that they deserve better – that they have a right to be treated with dignity and respect. It doesn’t make you a failure to walk away from an abusive situation. And please don’t think you’re doing your children any favors by staying in an abusive marriage. If the only behavior they witness in the home is verbal and physical abuse, then they will regrettably learn two very destructive lessons: 1) that it’s okay to treat other people like that and, 2) that it’s okay for other people to treat them like that.

In my opinion, it’s better for your children to be raised in a loving, peaceful home with a single parent, than to live in constant turmoil and fear – wondering when the next volcano is going to erupt. As Dr. Phil says: Children would rather come from a broken home than live in one.

This is a poem I wrote based on actual comments my sister’s 11-year-old son made about his relationship with his dad.

He calls me son
By Eileen Umbehr

When I get hurt and cry, my dad laughs at me and calls me a woosy (to my face).
My mom says she is so sorry.
I tell her, “Its okay, Mom. You didn’t do it.”
Sometimes I get worried because they say that girls turn out to be like the moms and boys turn out to be like the dads.

Mom tells me I need to remember how it feels so I won’t do the same things to my children.
I don’t ever want to do the same things to my children.
One time my dad told me I could have anything I wanted for my birthday. I said I just wanted him to play one-on-one basketball with me.

That was five years ago.
My friends’ dads play catch with them. For as long as I can remember, I’ve asked my dad to play catch with me. But he always says, “I’m too busy, son. Maybe tomorrow, son.”

Then when tomorrow comes I ask,
“Don’t you wanna play catch with me, Dad?”
And he says, “Not today, son. I’m too tired, son.”
He calls me son…..but he’s not really a dad.

*******************************

Finally, I’d like to close with this poem I wrote three years ago about my sister’s abusive marriage. I know I’ve shared it before, but I think it bears repeating.

For My Sister’s Sake
By Eileen Umbehr

My sister’s in a marriage –
if you can call it that,
Her husband is so mean to her,
he tells her she’s ugly and fat.

He never shows her any signs
of kindness, love or affection,
Nothing she does ever meets
his standard of perfection.

He yells at my sister day and night
because the house isn’t clean,
Believe it or not, he even complains
about water spots on the washing machine!

When my sister makes an honest mistake
he mocks her and calls her stupid,
I don’t know where this guy came from
but it certainly wasn’t from Cupid!

Even their kids have noticed the fact
that their dad’s not a very nice fella,
They don’t like how he bosses their mother around
as if she were Cinderella.

When times were tough, as they often were
and his insults pierced her heart,
She took a deep breath and told herself
that this was the “for worse” part.

She wanted to keep her family intact
so she fought with all that she had,
She tried to focus on the good
and overlook the bad.

But recently she discovered
that her suspicions about him were true,
It seems there were three people in the marriage
instead of the traditional two.

Now, whether her life as a single mom
will be an improvement, there’s no guarantee,
But for my sister’s sake, I hope she takes that chance
at least then she will finally be free

“You will forget your misery; you will remember it as waters that have passed away. And your life will be brighter than the noonday; its darkness will be like the morning. And you will have confidence, because there is hope.”
~ Job 11:16-18 (RSVB)

Enough is Enough

Thus says… the Lord and your God, who pleads the cause of His people: "See, I have taken out of your hand the cup of trembling…You shall no longer drink it.
But I will put it into the hand of those who afflict you, Who have said to you, 'Lie down, that we may walk over you.' And you have laid your body like the ground, And as the street, for those who walk over."
~ Psalms 51:22,23 (NKJV)

Some day, when she's old enough,
She's gonna start askin' questions about him.
Some kid at school brings his Dad for show and tell,
And gets her little mind a-wonderin'
"Where's my Daddy? Do I have one?
Does he not love me like you do?"
Oh, maybe I'll find someone to love the both of us,
And I'll tell her when she's old enough to know the truth.
Will it break her heart?
Will she understand
that I had to leave?
That's what was best for me and Emily.
The house was never clean enough;
his dinner never warm enough.
Nothing I did was ever good enough
to make him happy.
So I guess he gave me
what he thought I deserved,
But it would kill me
if he ever raised his hand to her.
It's a brand new day,
It's a second chance.
Yesterday is just a memory,
For me and Emily.
Me and Emily ~ recorded by Rachel Proctor

Last week, the Wabaunsee County Commissioners, Ervan Stuewe, Maurice Gleason and Fred Howard, signed the following official Proclamation declaring October, 2004 Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

WHEREAS, the problems and effects of domestic violence span all economic, racial, and social segments of our society; and
WHEREAS, the impact of domestic violence is extensive and acutely affects women and their children and society as a whole; and
WHEREAS, the crime of domestic violence violates an individual’s privacy, dignity, security, and humanity through the use of physical, emotional, sexual, psychological and economic control and/or abuse; and
WHEREAS, men and women must recognize the full scope of this social problem and work together to create a community that refuses to tolerate domestic violence; and
WHEREAS, it has been battered women themselves working in the forefront to bring peace and equality into the home; and
WHEREAS, nearly 50 incidents of domestic violence in Wabaunsee County are reported to law enforcement each year; and
WHEREAS, the YWCA Battered Women Task Force/Sexual Assault Counseling Programs provides immediate crisis intervention, short-term shelter, support groups, individual therapeutic counseling for victims and abusers, community advocacy, community referrals, and outreach and preventive education.

NOW, THEREFORE, WE, THE COMMISSIONERS OF WABAUNSEE COUNTY, do hereby proclaim October, 2004 as

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

and urge all residents to support the work of collaborative agencies in serving the needs of families impacted by domestic violence and work toward the elimination of domestic violence in our community.

******************************

Here are some staggering statistics:

Ø In the United States, a woman is beaten by her husband or boyfriend every 15 seconds.
Ø 2-4 million women a year are assaulted by their partners.
Ø 80% of battering incidents start in the home
Ø At least 25 % of domestic violence victims are pregnant when beaten.
Ø Child abuse is 15 times more likely to occur in families where domestic violence is present.
Ø Every day, four women are beaten to death.

If you or someone you know needs help, please call the 24-hour Kansas Crisis Hotline
at 1-888- END ABUSE or the Kansas Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence at (785) 232-9784.

In recognition of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and in honor of all the women who have suffered physical, emotional or mental abuse at the hands of another, I would like to share the following poems and verses.

Enough is Enough
By Eileen Umbehr

When do you say, "Enough is enough?"
When do you point to the door?
When do you say, "Never again,
I'm not taking your abuse any more?"

Now it seems you've quit listening to the truth
and started believing his lies;
You turned from the light and shut the door,
because the light was hurting your eyes.

He used to say you were nothing,
now he says he's nothing without you;
He brings you flowers and candy,
and promises to be true.

He's playing with your emotions,
telling you he can't live without you;
Where has he been for the past twenty years?
Did this change just come out of the blue?

I grieve for you because I know,
he's still not being truthful;
He's just telling you what you want to hear,
and that's what makes it even more hurtful.

You say that you're not backing down,
you're just stepping back;
You want to give him one more chance,
to show you the love he has lacked.

Well, I have to respect your decision,
after all, this is your life, not mine;
I just don't want to see you get hurt again,
and I don't believe he'll toe the line.

But for your sake, I hope that I'm wrong,
and that you’ll both live happily ever after;
And I pray that your home will be filled once again,
with love, and peace and laughter.
Written for my sister, Mary
July 21, 2001

“But if the husband or wife who isn’t a Christian is eager to leave, it is permitted. In such cases the Christian husband or wife should not insist that the other stay, for God wants His children to live in peace and harmony. For, after all, there is no assurance to you wives that your husbands will be converted if they stay; and the same may be said to your husbands concerning your wives.”
~ I Corinthians 7:15 (Living Bible)

******************************

On his own
By Eileen Umbehr

He tells her he never wanted this
And I guess in a way that is true
But it’s not what you think, let me explain
Maybe then you’ll see why he’s so blue.

He never wanted to cook his own meals
never wanted to mess with the bills
And he certainly never wanted to do his own wash
Or buy groceries to put on the shelves

He never wanted to sit all alone
in a one room apartment so plain
But when he had his wife and children around
All he ever did was complain

“Clean this! Clean that! Look at this place!
What have you been doing all day?
Just look at the dust on those baseboards – my God!
I just can’t keep living this way!”

Well, guess what? He doesn’t have to, now he lives on his own
with no noise, no confusion, no “filth”
So now if there’s something that hasn’t been done
He has no one to blame but himself

I guess he had to learn the hard way
You can’t have your cake and eat it, too
If you really want someone to be a part of your life
Then you better be faithful and true

Yes, you better show them you love them
By being helpful, respectful and kind,
Or one day they may be gone from your life
And you may be left behind

March 11, 2003

“See, this is the man who made not God his strength – his stronghold and high tower; but trusted and confidently relied on the abundance of his riches, seeking refuge and security for himself through his wickedness.”
~ Psalm 52:7

******************************

Crossroads
By Kayleen Drebes

She cries in the night
and no one hears
her tears fall silent
just like her fears

She wants to leave
but she’s afraid to go
and her little ones
don’t even know

She hopes for the day
that things will change
she’ll try a little harder
perhaps – she’ll pray –

But it’s hard
to just – begin again –
when hurts lie deep
and love just ends

She feels like a broken
china doll
with no way to protect
the little ones from the fall

Her smile is weary
confusion surrounds her
she’s losing the will
to live – altogether

Her tells her – he loves her
and can’t live without her
She’s the one to blame
for the pain that he’s in

She’s ridden with guilt
for she’s the protector –
of all those hearts
in her care

And he is the conqueror
the master of the game
the one who decides
what is fair

The battle goes on
and she tried to persuade –
and ease the tension
reassure her own faith

But hope of the hopeless
grows weak and tired
the battle gets brutal
the scars no longer hide

Sooner or later
she must find her way
to the crossroad of truth
before it’s too late.

“And I will betroth you to Me forever; yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and justice, and in steadfast love, and in mercies. I will even betroth you to Me in stability and in faithfulness, and you shall know – recognize, be acquainted with, appreciate, give heed to and cherish – the Lord.

And I will sow her for Myself anew in the land, and I will have pity, mercy and love for her who had not obtained pity, mercy and love, and I will say to those who were not My people, You are My people, and they shall say, You are my God!”
~ Hosea 2:19, 20, 23(Amplified)

Elderly Inspiration

“The glory of the young is their strength; the gray hair of experience is the splendor of the old.”
~ Proverbs 20:20 (NLT)

Grandpa, tell me 'bout the good old days
Sometimes it feels like this world's gone crazy
And Grandpa, take me back to yesterday
When the line between right and wrong
Didn't seem so hazy

Did lovers really fall in love to stay
And stand beside each other, come what may?
Was a promise really something people kept
Not just something they would say, and then forget?
Did families really bow their heads to pray
Did daddies really never go away?
Oh, Grandpa, tell me 'bout the good old days

Grandpa, Tell me ‘bout the Good Old Days ~ recorded by The Judds

This past week Keen has been business/dog sitting for some friends of ours who live above their computer store in downtown Topeka. I joined him for a couple days over the weekend and was able to visit a few of my elderly friends on Monday.

My day started out at the cafeteria of St. Francis Hospital where I met my friend Marne for breakfast. Marne eats there almost every day and enjoys visiting with his two friends, Steve and Amy, who are lab technicians. Unfortunately, Marne had taken a spill the night before and had a small cut on his forehead and a bruise on his face. Later, a trip to the dentist revealed the need for some unexpected dental work. “Seems like I have enough trouble for two or three people,” he wrote in an email. “Well, I will get by.”

After breakfast, I decided to drive to the Luther Apartments to see if I could catch my other friend, Joy. The timing was perfect as Joy was just heading out on her morning walk, wearing her red baseball cap and flannel shirt. Joy puts me to shame because she walks nearly every single morning year around – with a walker, no less. Twenty years ago she had a heart valve replaced and the doctor told her that if she wanted to live a long life then she would need to walk every day. So that’s what she does.

Poor Joy has had more than her fair share of misfortune lately. “I wish you could have walked in my shoes for the past six weeks,” she said. First of all, Joy lost her beloved twin sister, Joyce. Then there was a mix-up with the hospital and they started sending her all the bills. To make matters worse, she received a letter from the social security office (addressed “to the deceased”) informing her that they would be discontinuing her benefits. So Joy was feeling pretty overwhelmed and tearful that day, but bless her heart, she was trying her best to pull herself up by the bootstraps. “I gave myself a good talking to this morning,” she said.

In the afternoon, I met my brother Bill, his wife Connie and their daughter, Callie in Lawrence to watch their son Joey play quarterback for his Olathe football team. It was a beautiful afternoon and a great game. (They won by about 40 points.)

Afterwards we all went out to eat at Taco Johns on Haskell Avenue, which just happened to be about 3 blocks away from the home of my dear poet friend, Marian. Even though it was about 7:00 at night, I just couldn’t imagine not stopping by to say hello.

Marian and I had a wonderful visit, as always – being the kindred spirits that we are. She is such a special person and a talented poet who has written hundreds of poems over the years. Marian and her husband Arthur raised six children – 3 boys and 3 girls – and owned businesses in Manhattan and Wamego. In fact, Art was the mayor of Wamego at one time. But he is gone now, and Marian still grieves over the loss of the love of her life.

“Would that I’d a second chance,
To declare my love, to dance that dance
A chance to tell him what I ought
In loving words, so dearly bought!”
Excerpt from Song of Regret by Marian Umscheid

During our visit, Marian shared some of her ills, including being informed that she needed a root canal. But she chose to listen to her gut instincts which told her that the procedure really wasn’t necessary. Then she took some antibiotics that she had on hand, and the infection – or whatever it was – cleared right up. Marian says that she’s become bolder in her older age and is less afraid to say what she really thinks. Like the time the podiatrist kept her waiting in the examination room with no socks on her feet for about twenty minutes. Finally, she climbed off the table, grabbed her canes and walked down the hall in search of the doctor. Upon finding him, she exclaimed, “Excuse me, but I’ve been waiting for a long time and my feet are getting cold. Now I know I’m not a doctor like you are, but I think my time is just as important as yours.” The doctor apologized profusely and treated her right away.

While I was visiting Marian, she asked if she could give me some advice. “Meditate,” she said. “Don’t take anything for granted. Slow down and take the time to meditate on the blessings in your life. Think about your legs and how fortunate you are to be able to walk. If I could, I would put it on a plaque for you – Don’t take anything for granted.”

My visits with my three elderly friends caused me to reflect. Each one of them – all in their eighties – still have daily struggles to contend with. They have to get up every morning and make a conscious effort to be happy and make the most out of the life they have been given. It’s not easy for any of us, at any age, but I am inspired by my dear friends who have so many more challenges than I do, and yet they carry on.

In closing, I’d like to share the following poem Marian wrote about retirement.


Re-tired?
By Marian Umscheid

I’m retired, but you wouldn’t know it
All the things I have to do
The upkeep is monstrous
I’ll name a few:

There’s my body, and more things
Are going bad all the time,
The dentist, the doctor, the pharmacist
From my upkeep are doin’ fine.

Then there’s the house, it keeps
Showing the wear and tear
First the roof, then the furnace,
Every month something needs care

There are bulbs to change
And bulbs to plant
Things to oil and grass to mow
While watching for insects and bugs
I think they’re about to lay me low!

Don’t forget the car, the most demanding
Every few days it needs gas
Or fluid of one kind or another
Tires or brakes or polish the glass.

So don’t tell me that I can
Sit back and shirk,
I’ve more to do than a cranberry merchant,
Wonder when I had time to work?


I’ll put on my rose-colored glasses
I’ll put away discouragement and fear
I’ll look to the heavens for guidance
And live on for many more years.
~ Marian Umscheid



Marian & me

Making Enemies

“But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For He gives His sunlight to both the evil and the good, and He sends rain on the just and on the unjust, too. If you love only those who love you, what good is that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that.”
~ Matthew 5:44-47(NLT)

Due to our tendency to get involved in controversial issues, my husband and I have made our share of enemies over the years. Consequently, we’ve had ample opportunity to “love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us.”

What I’m about to say may sound contradictory, but it’s the truth. Of all the issues Keen and I have raised and elected officials whom we have challenged, not once was it ever personal. Furthermore, we’ve never hated anyone in our entire lives.

Back in the late 80’s and early 90’s when Keen wrote his weekly column called My Perspective which was highly critical of the county commissioners, a local paper carried a headline about one of the commissioners calling a public truce to the “personality conflict” with Keen. Keen responded by stating that he did not have a problem with the commissioner’s personality, but rather his policies.

One time that same commissioner cut Keen off in the middle of his trash route and verbally threatened him. “You’re supposed to be some kind of Christian,” he yelled, just inches from Keen’s face. “Well, let me tell you something, boy! You’ve got a long road to hell… a long road to hell!”

Nevertheless, Keen always said that if he saw that same man broken down on the side of the road, he would stop and help him.

I think it’s important to understand that we all have enemies of one sort or another (some of us more than others), and that’s never going to change. But God doesn’t want us to fret about the unjust things people do to us. In Hebrews 10:30 it says, “For we know Him Who said, Vengeance is Mine. Retribution and the meting out of full justice rest with Me; I will repay, I will exact the compensation, says the Lord.” The only thing we can control is how we respond to those people.

The Bible tells us that we should live at peace with all men, “if possible, as far as it depends on you.” (Romans 12:18) But sometimes it’s not possible.

After our lawsuit was concluded, we made various attempts to ease the hard feelings caused by the whole ordeal. However, when Keen approached two of the commissioners and tried to shake hands and suggest that they put it all behind them, the first one just turned his back on Keen and the other one (whom I referred to above) told Keen to go away because he didn’t even want him standing next to him.

Our most dramatic attempt to ease the wounds caused by our lawsuit was when we offered to donate a parcel of land located just north of the Alma Hotel. The year was 1999 and the mayor of Alma had asked the citizens to come up with ideas for a community project that we could all work together on in celebration of the Millennium. Since our local library was looking for a place to expand, Keen and I sent a letter to the City offering our property as a future site for the library. We explained that we wanted to do this in honor of Keen’s paternal grandmother, Ann Umbehr, who was a long-time librarian at the Alma library. We went on to say that it was also a way for us to give back to the community where we had lived, raised our children and operated our businesses. Unfortunately, our offer was rejected, purportedly because five powerbrokers at the Alma bank didn’t endorse it. Ironically, the First National Bank in Wamego approached us just a short time later inquiring about the possibility of purchasing the land for a new branch bank.

But that’s what I mean when I say that sometimes it’s not possible to “live at peace with all men.” When we realized that we couldn’t even give away a $8000 piece of property, Keen remarked that he could come up with the cure for cancer and some people still would not accept him.

Now to those who would say that we are not striving for or promoting peace when we stir up controversy or file lawsuits, I would refer them to these verses in Matthew 10:34-38

“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword…a man's enemies will be the members of his own household… and anyone who does not take his cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me.”

I think most people would agree that Jesus was extremely controversial. Although He went about healing the sick and causing the blind to see, He was not a pushover. For example, when He discovered the moneychangers in the temple, He overturned the tables, ran them out and rebuked them for turning His Father’s house into a den of thieves. Jesus also fiercely rebuked the religious leaders of the day, calling them hypocrites and sons of snakes. He told them that they made people twice as fit for hell as they were themselves!

One day when Jesus was teaching in the synagogue on the Sabbath, He saw a woman who had been afflicted for eighteen years. He said, “Woman, thou art loosed from your infirmity!” Immediately she was healed and glorified God. Then the ruler of the synagogue became indignant and turned to the crowd saying, “There are six days on which men ought to work; therefore come and be healed on them, and not on the Sabbath day." Jesus answered him and said:

"Hypocrite! Does not each one of you on the Sabbath loose his ox or donkey from the stall, and lead it away to water it? So ought not this woman, being a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan has bound--think of it--for eighteen years, be loosed from this bond on the Sabbath?" And when He said these things, all His adversaries were put to shame…” ~ Luke 13:15-17 (NKJV)

Yes, Jesus had adversaries because He spoke the truth and made people uncomfortable about the way they were living their lives. In fact, Jesus had enemies from the moment of His birth in Bethlehem. After King Herod heard that a new King had been born, he became threatened and handed down an order that all children under the age of two should be killed.

Of course we all know that Jesus’ enemies eventually crucified Him. But that’s not the end of the story. The end of the story is that Jesus rose again victorious three days later. The Bible says that demons tremble at the sound of the Name of Jesus, because they know that He defeated them at Calvary.

We have made at least one new enemy in Wabaunsee County’s most recent controversy involving Undersheriff Jack Metz’s decision to “un-arrest” an individual involved in a domestic disturbance. In fact, when Keen went to the sheriff’s office to retrieve some documents that he had requested, Mr. Metz angrily told him that he was going to hire a lawyer and sue him for slander. Keen informed the undersheriff that the truth is an absolute defense against such charges and suggested that his lawyer might want to read up on the case of New York Times v. Sullivan 376 U.S. 254 wherein the Supreme Court ruled, "…we consider this case against the background of a profound national commitment to the principle that debate on public issues should be uninhibited, robust and wide open, and that it may well include vehement, caustic, and sometimes unpleasantly sharp attacks on government and public officials.” We also rely on verses like Proverbs 2:15 which says that God will give us wisdom and deliver us from those who are “…crooked in their ways, wayward and devious in their paths.”

My husband takes the First Amendment literally; he always has and he always will. Some people felt he was “biting the hand that fed him” by writing his column, but he held fast to the belief that as long as he was doing the job he was hired to do (and by the grace of God he never missed a day in nearly 18 years), he was free to participate in debate on matters of public concern, including criticizing the very men who awarded him the trash collection contract. Of course, that belief was put to the ultimate test when the Supreme Court decided to hear our case and ultimately established First Amendment rights for private contractors once and for all.

Being involved in controversy and making enemies is never pleasant, but it’s unavoidable.

As Thomas Jefferson once said, "The force of public opinion cannot be resisted, when permitted freely to be expressed. The agitation it produces must be submitted to. It is necessary to keep the waters pure."

Without Words

“Strengthen the weak hands, and make firm the feeble and tottering knees. Say to those who are of a fearful and hasty heart, Be strong, fear not! Behold, your God will come with vengeance, with the recompense of God; He will come and save you.” ~ Isaiah 35:3,4

9/11
By Eileen Umbehr

Another anniversary
has come and gone
We cried our tears
Then life moved on

Did we have a choice
Did they give us one?
Before they attacked
with planes for weapons?

The heartache was unbearable
The grief beyond compare
On that September day
When tragedy filled the air

Without words.

***************

Where were you (when the world stopped turning)
Written and recorded by Alan Jackson

Where were you when the world stop turning
on that September day
Were you in the yard with your wife and children
Or working on some stage in L.A.
Did you stand there in shock at the sight of that black smoke
Rising against that blue sky
Did you shout out in anger, in fear for your neighbor
Or did you just sit down and cry

Did you weep for the children who lost their dear loved ones
And pray for the ones who don't know
Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble
And sob for the ones left below
Did you burst out in pride for the red, white and blue
And the heroes who died
Just doin' what they do
Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer
And look at yourself and what really matters
I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I could tell you
The difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith, hope and love are some good things He gave us
And the greatest is love

Where were you when the world stop turning on that September day
Teaching a class full of innocent children
Or driving down some cold interstate
Did you feel guilty 'cause you're a survivor
In a crowded room did you feel alone
Did you call up your mother and tell her you loved her
Did you dust off that Bible at home
Did you open your eyes, hope it never happened
Did you close your eyes and not go to sleep
Did you notice the sunset for the first time in ages
Or speak to some stranger on the street
Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow
Go out and buy you a gun
Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watchin'
And turn on "I Love Lucy" reruns
Did you go to a church and hold hands with some strangers
Stand in line and give your own blood
Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family
Thank God you had somebody to love
Well, I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I could tell you
The difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith, hope and love are some good things He gave us
And the greatest is love

***************

“Do not forget the voice of Your enemies; The tumult of those who rise up against You increases continually.” ~ Psalm 74:3

Have you forgotten?
Recorded by Darryl Worley

I hear people saying we don't need this war
But I say there's some things worth fighting for
What about our freedom and this piece of ground?
We didn't get to keep 'em by backin’ down

They say that we don't realize
the mess we're gettin’ in
Before you start your preachin’
let me ask you this my friend

Have you forgotten?
How it felt that day?
To see your homeland under fire
and her people blown away

Have you forgotten?
When those towers fell,
we had neighbors still inside
Going through a living hell
And you say we shouldn't worry about Bin Laden
Have you forgotten?

I've been there with the soldiers
Who've gone away to war
And you can bet that they remember,
just what they're fighting for
Have you forgotten?

All the people killed
Yeah, some went down like heroes
in that Pennsylvania field

Have you forgotten?
About our Pentagon
All the loved ones that we lost
and those left to carry on
Don't you tell me not to worry about Bin Laden

Have you forgotten?

“Therefore it shall be, when the Lord your God has given you rest from your enemies all around, in the land which the Lord your God is giving you to possess as an inheritance … you shall not forget.”
~ Deuteronomy 25:19 (NKVJ)

A Method to the Madness

“We are hedged in … on every side – troubled and oppressed in every way; but not cramped or crushed; we suffer embarrassments and are perplexed and unable to find a way out, but not driven to despair;

We are… pursued, but not deserted…; we are struck down to the ground, but never struck out and destroyed…

Therefore we do not become discouraged – utterly spiritless, exhausted, and wearied out through fear. Though our outer man is …wasting away, yet our inner self is being… renewed day after day…”
~ II Corinthians 4:8, 9, 16 (Amplified)

Last week I wrote about the storms of life we all encounter from time to time. Although I can’t pretend to understand the reasons for all the heartache in the world, this week I’d like to reflect on the value (yes, I said value) and purpose (yes, I said purpose) these storms often serve in our lives.

“Beloved, do not be amazed and bewildered at the fiery ordeal which is taking place to test your quality, as though something strange – unusual and alien to you and your position – were befalling you.

But in so far as you are sharing Christ’s sufferings, rejoice, so that when His glory (full of radiance and splendor) is revealed you may also rejoice with triumph – exultantly.”
~ I Peter 4:12, 13

The Bible is full of examples of people who went through difficult trials and came out on the other side stronger and more equipped to face the next challenge life presented. Take the example of Joseph who was sold into slavery by his jealous brothers and was later thrown into prison for fourteen years after being wrongfully accused of seducing his master’s wife. If I were Joseph, I think I’d be asking, “What was the point of that, God?”

"Blessed...is the man who is patient under trial and stands up under temptation, for when he has stood the test and been approved he will receive [the victor's] crown of life which God has promised to those who love Him." ~ James 1:12

There were lessons to be learned in prison, and they were all a part of preparing Joseph for the plan God had designed for his future. But did Joseph just waste away during his time in prison? No, he “bloomed where he was planted” and continued to utilize the gifts God had given him. When Pharaoh had a dream about seven fat cows and seven gaunt cows, God gave Joseph the interpretation of that dream. Joseph revealed that there would be seven good years of plenty followed by seven years of famine, and he warned Pharaoh to build up ample reserves of food.

Pharaoh eventually recognized Joseph’s gift of wisdom, and appointed him to be second in command over all of Egypt. During the seven plenteous years, Joseph traveled to all the cities storing up food and grain.

In Genesis 41:51, it says that Joseph was blessed with two sons. He named his firstborn son, Manasseh. “For,” he said, “God has made me forget all my hardship…” He named his second son Ephraim, “For God has made me fruitful in the land of my affliction.”

When the famine arrived, Joseph’s brothers traveled to Egypt in search of grain. They were terrified to learn that the brother they’d sold into slavery was now a great leader and Pharaoh’s right hand man. But Joseph chose to be merciful to his brothers, rather than vengeful.

Joseph said to them, "Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God? But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.” ~ Genesis 50:19, 20 (NKJV)

Joseph was able to recognize the good that came out of that very bad situation. This tells me that even though we may not understand it at the time, there is a method to the madness and God is with us – even in times of trouble.

“Consider it wholly joyful, my brethren, whenever you are enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort, or fall into various temptations. Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience. But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed (with no defects), lacking in nothing.” ~ James 1:2-4 (Amplified)

The story of David and Goliath offers another great example of this principle. When Goliath mocked God’s people, David was the only one who stepped up to the plate. But Saul tried to discourage David by reminding him that he was “only a youth.”
David replied: "Your servant used to keep his father's sheep, and when a lion or a bear came and took a lamb out of the flock, I went out after it and struck it, and delivered the lamb from its mouth; and when it arose against me, I caught it by its beard, and struck and killed it. Your servant has killed both lion and bear; and this …Philistine will be like one of them, seeing he has defied the armies of the living God." Moreover David said, "The Lord, who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine." ~ I Samuel 17:34-37

You see, David’s former conflicts were not in vain because they prepared him for the next battle and gave him the courage and faith he needed to face Goliath. Likewise, the difficulties we face on a regular basis are not in vain either, because they help us to develop our faith muscles so we’ll be strong enough to face the next giant that rears its ugly head in our life.

In the New Testament, Paul talks about a “thorn in the flesh” that was given to buffet him so that he would not be “…exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations…” R.T. Kendall, former minister of Westminster Chapel and author of over 40 books, wrote an excellent book on this subject titled, The Thorn in the Flesh. He describes it as “God’s way of getting our attention.”

But Paul prayed three times that this thorn might be taken away from him and every time the Lord replied, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Paul said, “Therefore, most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (II Corinthians 12:7-10)

“Fear not, (there is nothing to fear) for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you (to difficulties); yes, I will help you; yes I will hold you up and retain you with My victorious right hand.”
~ Isaiah 41:10 (Amp)

The Teacup
Author Unknown

There was a couple who used to go to England to shop in the
beautiful stores. They both liked antiques and pottery and
especially teacups. This was their twenty-fifth wedding
anniversary.

One day while they were shopping they saw a beautiful teacup.
They said, "May we see that? We've never seen one quite so
unique."

As the lady handed it to them, suddenly the teacup spoke.
"You don't understand," it said. "I haven't always been a
teacup. There was a time when I was just red clay. Then my
master took me and rolled me and patted me over and over and
I yelled out, “Let me alone!” But he only smiled and said,
‘Not yet.’

"Then I was placed on a spinning wheel," the teacup said, "and
suddenly I was spun around and around and around. Stop it!
I'm getting dizzy!” I screamed. But the master only nodded and
said, 'Not yet.'

Then he put me in the oven. I never felt such heat. I wondered
why he wanted to burn me, and I yelled and knocked at the door.
I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips as
he shook his head, 'Not yet.'

Finally the door opened and he put me on the shelf where I began to
cool. 'There, that's better,' I said. And he brushed and painted
me all over. The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag.
'Stop it, stop it!' I cried. He only nodded, ‘Not yet.'

Then suddenly he put me back into the oven. But this
oven was twice as hot as the first one and I knew I would
suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried.
All the time I could see him through the opening nodding
his head saying, 'Not yet.'

Then I knew there was no hope. I would never make it. I was
ready to give up. Just then the oven door opened and he took me
out and placed me on the shelf. One hour later he handed me a mirror
and said, 'Look at yourself.’

And I did. I said, 'That's not me; that couldn't be me.
It's beautiful. I'm beautiful.'

'I want you to remember, then,' he said, 'I know it hurts to be
rolled and patted, but if I had left you alone, you would have dried up.

I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had
stopped, you would have crumbled. I knew it hurt and was hot and
painful in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked.

I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all
over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened and you
would not have had any color in your life. And if I hadn't put
you back in that second oven, you wouldn't survive for very long
because the hardness would not have held. Now you are a
finished product. You are what I had in mind when I first began.

“But indeed, O man, who are you to reply against God? Will the thing formed say to him who formed it, "Why have you made me like this?" Does not the potter have power over the clay, from the same lump to make one vessel for honor and another for dishonor?” ~ Romans 9:20, 21

Blessings ~

Eileen

From www.teawithgrace.com

The Storms of Life

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.”
~ Psalm 46:1-3

Last Wednesday, Keen and I both woke up around 4:15 a.m. and decided to go on our “long walk” which is about 3 miles down our country road. There had been storms in the area off and on all week, but that morning it wasn't raining – there was just some lightning off in the distance. When we were about ¼ mile from our house, it started pouring down rain and we were immediately soaked to the skin. The lightning was flashing and the thunder was booming all around us.

“The voice of thy thunder [was] in the heaven: the lightnings lightened the world….” ~ Psalm 77:18

As we picked up our pace and started jogging toward home, we were both startled by a LOUD clap of thunder right above our heads. It was such a helpless feeling and there wasn’t a thing we could do about it because no one was around to give us a ride. I just felt so vulnerable walking down the middle of the road in the midst of a raging storm, so I started saying that Bible verse: "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me."

We had no choice except to hang on and keep putting one foot in front of the other. I told Keen that it was a picture of our life ~ going through the storms of life, hand in hand together, one step at a time.

“You called in trouble and I delivered you; I answered you in the secret place of thunder.” ~ Psalm 81:7 (NKJV)

I try to draw lessons from every day experiences, so this past week I’ve just been thinking about the storms of life each of us has to face. As I look around, I see that we all go through storms; some are small and some are large.

In Vicky Jones’ column, “View from the Backseat” which appeared in last week’s edition of The Prairie Post, she wrote about the wild goose chase she went on trying to find the magic key that unlocked the lug nuts on her “limo”. In a strange way, I think it helps when we hear that other people go through the same hassles and frustrations as the rest of us. (Yes, even Baptist ministers’ wives have bad days!)

With that in mind, I thought I’d make you all feel better by sharing a few of my own recent aggravations.

About a month ago, I bought a new computer that was supposed to make my life easier, but instead it’s had me pulling my hair out and questioning my sanity. I didn’t realize that when I “upgraded” to the new Windows XP operating system, several of my old programs would no longer function properly. One of those programs was my anti-virus software, which of course is imperative if you don’t want some computer hacker to steal your private information or send you a virus that wipes out your entire system. So I spent hours on the computer trying to resolve my problem by typing back and forth with a “live technician.” I did everything they suggested, but to no avail, so I decided to break down and pay $39.00 to talk on the phone to a real person. After going round and round, they concluded that I needed to delete all the files from my old program because they were interfering with the new version of their product. This involved a tedious and lengthy process of going into the registry of my computer and manually deleting every file one by one. It seemed like there were hundreds of them. But at that point I was willing to do anything to get out of the maze I found myself in.

After the new virus protection software was finally installed and operating like it was supposed to, I discovered that the firewall feature was not only keeping the hackers and other bad guys out, it was preventing me from doing things I wanted to do – like update my Windows XP. Needless to say, I was frustrated beyond belief by the time it was all over.

Then last week we decided to bite the bullet and sign up for DSL (high speed internet). I spent several hours on the phone finding out what it would cost and getting everything set up so I would be able to network with Keen and Kirk’s computers. We talked about modems, USB adapters and routers – each one coming with a separate price tag. My head was spinning by the time I got off the phone, but the representative assured me that it was very simple to install. In fact, he went so far as to say that his four-year-old daughter could hook it up. Well…. he lied. But God smiled on us when Kirk’s friend and his father offered to help us with the installation. If it weren’t for them, there was no way we could have figured it out by ourselves – even with the simple, step-by-step instructions!

Once the DSL was up and running (it’s wonderful, by the way), I was anxious to call my telephone company to cancel our second phone line since we wouldn’t need it anymore to dial-up to the internet. It sounds like a simple request, but apparently it’s quite complicated because I was transferred or asked to call back four separate times! I spent over an hour on the phone just trying to get them to disconnect our second line. The first person said his computer wasn’t functioning properly and asked me if I would “be so kind” as to call back. Of course, that meant I had to start all over and wait on hold for another operator. When the next representative answered the phone, I barely had a chance to utter the word “disconnect” before she abruptly replied, “I’ll transfer you.”

Transfer me? I had pressed the right prompt – the one that said, “If you’d like to make changes to your services/cancel features or services,” so why was I being transferred? Next, I listened to elevator music for 10-15 minutes along with periodic messages professing their “responsiveness and dedication” to their customers while at the same time apologizing for the wait and informing me that their representatives are still busy with other customers.

At long last, a gentleman answered the phone and asked for my name and number. However, my heart sank when he instantly sounded puzzled by my simple cancellation request. “Did someone transfer you to me?” he asked. “Yeeeees,” I replied through clenched teeth. He courteously explained that he was the DSL representative and didn’t have the authority or capability to process my order. He then informed me that I would need to call the main number back since cancellation requests were handled by the sales department. So it was back to square one for me. Unfortunately, when I followed his instructions and called the main number, I found out that the sales department was not one of the options offered on the telephone prompt. Talk about getting the run around!

At this point, Keen came up with the idea that that I might get better service if I called back and hit the prompt for new orders. It sounded like a good suggestion at first, but then I realized that I would wait on hold again only to be told that I had contacted the wrong department.

The fourth and final operator was a kindly woman from the Las Vegas office who seemed genuinely apologetic for the difficulty and inconvenience I had encountered. I was skeptical, but optimistic. Then I heard those dreaded words, “Hmmm…there seems to be a problem. I don’t understand. My computer isn’t pulling up your account.” I cringed. “Are you sure we are your telephone provider?” she politely asked. I explained that we had been customers for over 25 years and I was pretty sure I knew the name of our telephone company. Then I continued to hold as she tried unsuccessfully to pull up our account. She even tried our main telephone number and couldn’t pull that one up, either. By this time I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone!

After about ten minutes of this, she informed me that her computer had just “frozen up” and she was going to place me on hold while she called her supervisor to find out how to handle the situation. Swell. After another lengthy delay, she came back on the line and said that her immediate supervisor wasn’t able to pull up our account, either. (There was some good news, however. She just saved some money on her insurance with Geiko.) She said her supervisor’s supervisor had taken down my information and would try to process the order by the following Monday (this was Friday), so I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

But all of this is so minor compared to the larger storms of life others face every day. Like the literal storms that devastated Florida when the hurricane blew through and all those people lost their homes. Or the woman who lost her son in a tragic accident and said, “I wasn’t done being his mother.” Or Robert Rogers who lost his wife, Melissa and their four young children in the floods that swept through our area a year ago. “Anyone who goes through trial and suffering grieves,” he said. “I still cry all the time.” Or the family of Ericka Agee, the sixteen year old girl who was killed in a car accident last weekend while attempting to make a left turn onto Hwy. 4. Or the countless other unspeakable tragedies that occur everyday

We’ve all heard the phrase: “I felt sorry for myself because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.” I’d like to share a poem with a similar theme that I wrote about ten years ago.

UNTIL
By Eileen Umbehr

I complained the music was too loud
Until I met someone who could not hear

I complained the lights were too bright
Until I met someone who could not see

I complained the price was too high
Until I met someone who could not pay

I complained the work was too hard
Until I met someone who could not move

I complained I was so tired
Until I met someone who could not awake

I’d like to close with this poem my daughter-in-law, Lisa shared with me from the Sunday bulletin at her church.

Your Cross

Whatever your cross, whatever your pain
There will always be sunshine after the rain
Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall.
But God is always ready to answer your call.
He knows every heartache, sees every tear,
A word from His lips can calm every fear.
Your sorrows may linger throughout the night.
But suddenly vanish at dawn's early light.
The Savior is waiting somewhere up above.
To give you His grace and send you His love.
Whatever your cross, whatever your pain.
God always sends rainbows after the rain.

“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer,
I have overcome the world."
~ John 16:33

Blessings ~ Eileen